_On a train._ HIM: Thanks for coming with me. ME: Sure. It’s been great that we’ve been getting along well enough lately to take a trip together. HIM: I can’t wait to see the mountains. ME: Yeah. When we— _There is a horrible screeching squall, and the train lurches to a halt. Outside the windows, the sunny view of rural America disappears and is replaced by slowly gyrating stars, moons, comets, and mouse heads. What the fuck??_ _HE and I, two desperate, oddly familiar-looking men, enter the car with a burst of odors and a whoosh of air. Several women and a few men gasp. The newcomers are wearing headbands, leather chaps, and 14-inch strap-on leather phalluses outside their pants._ _One gangly mailman sitting near the front of the car dares speak._ GANGLY MAILMAN: Is—is this a stickup? HE: _[with obvious scorn]_ A stickup? I: Hahahahahahaha! We care nothing for your jewels, your poodles, your purses or your snatches! We are only here for those two! _[points dramatically at HIM and ME]_ _HIM and ME gasp ineffectually as HE and I approach, grab them out of their seats, hurl them down on their knees in the aisle, and pull their pants down. HE and I proceed to anally rape HIM and ME, respectively, while_ _all the other train passengers, no longer worried, rock obliviously in their seats as the train begins to move again. No-one is sure what the view out the windows is now._ HIM: St—stop it—uh— ME: Uhmf—uhhh—ooohhhhhh, ahhhhhhh, yesssssss . . . . . I: _[pausing to rub more lube on his leather phallus]_ Ha! I would’ve thought it would’ve been yours, He, who would’ve given in and admitted he liked it first! HE: Just goes to show ya. _[continues grinding away as HIM’s ass slowly, inexorably, loosens]_ HIM: _[finally]_ Oh god yes, please, yes, fuck me, fuck me.... ME and HIM: . . . fuck me, fuck me, fuck me . . . . _...which is also a loose approximation of what the train on the rails sounds like as the boys go on down the line getting fucked until they touch themselves, and come._