HIM:Can you help me? ME: I gotta be honest, I don't really want to. HIM:Why not? ME: All I ever do anymore is help you. When I'm not too busy feeling miserable, that is. HIM: You fucking cocksucker! ME: All right. So I'm a cocksucker. Who the hell isn't these days? HIM: Fine. If that's how you feel about it. ME: It is. HIM: Fine. ME: Fine. _They look at each other and something inaudibly clicks._ HIM: Let's kill ourselves. ME: Okay. _Both their dicks start to get hard, but each thinks his erection is a secret from the other. It isn't. There will be no more secrets tonight._