HER: I masturbated twice on the way over here. HIM: And you still wanted to talk to us? _Ahem. Let me explain. We are, for this episode exclusively, suspended in a huge arena (rented at my own personal expense)—all of us, even though HIM went back to high school and ME is wherever he is, even all the little extras you or I may have forgotten, possibly even some who haven’t appeared yet—possibly even some who will never appear anywhere except in this arena! So sit back, enjoy the plush red seats, have some popcorn, flirt with the girl or boy or whatever’s next to you. Okay. Back to the conversation down by the apron, where HIM is about eye level with the stage floor and HER is a little shorter. People and events are milling all around them, but while they are talking the golden lights are only on them._ HER: Yeah! See, it’s not like being a boy. HIM: How is it different? HER: Besides getting more orgasms, you mean? HIM: Yeah. Besides that. HER: Well, it’s like this—this relaxation, you know? But it doesn’t just feel good. It changes your whole way of seeing the world. HIM: Yeah okay, but HOW? HER: I was getting to that, mister impatient boy. HIM: All right, all right, I’m sorry. HER: No problem. So anyway, it’s like after the first orgasm you just want to go home, but after the second you want to have pancakes, hang out, talk, maybe have another orgasm but you’re not worried about when. HIM: Hmm . . . . HER: What? You have a strange look on your face. HIM: Well . . . it’s just . . . . HER: What? HIM: Well, why did you want to go home after the first one? HER: I don’t know. Why do you? HIM: [at some level realizing she has just given him an opportunity both to avoid hearing the answer to his question, and to talk about himself, and silently, he thanks her for that gift] Well, I guess because of some kind of shame. Like, okay, poof, that’s it, everything I felt about you can now be described in terms of some little glop of jelly and life goes back to normal, good morning, how are you, what’s your name, that sort of thing. HER: Wow. That’s too bad. HIM: Well, why do you want to go home after the first orgasm? [oho! he has remembered his question after all] HER: Because, my friend, I— _At this moment she is interrupted by me, Italic Me, who should now be called ITALIC ME because he is one of the dramatis personæ for this episode, saying_ _ITALIC ME: At this moment she is interrupted by me,_ _Italic Me, who should now be called ITALIC ME because he is one of the dramatis personæ for this episode, saying_ HER: Hey cut it with the nested loop and tell me why you interrupted my third orgasm of the night! _ITALIC ME: Because I had a very important announcement, and while I realize you are a princess—_ HER: Yeah, yeah, whatever. So what’s the announcement? _ITALIC HER: Yeah, what is the announcement, Big Boy?_ _ITALIC ME: Well there’s been a security leak._ ALL ASSEMBLED: What!? _At this time I quit playing games with being a cast member, and I just cop to the fact that I am the one who leaked. I confess I hinted at our existence to someone outside the . . . the . . . area it is that we are in, and when I was finished, I looked up, my cheeks drained, or red, my eyes full, or bright, ready for their condemnation, their shock, their disgust, or worse yet their pity, but worst yet my exile, and I was amazed to discover—_ _They were gone._