081813 #treefrog  See, here's the thing. I think I can really be good at this. I really do. Right now there are these traps and wells that suck up and constrain too much of my energy. I don't have boundless energy at this time. There are limits to what I can muster. Right now, too much energy goes into worrying about looking stupid. Too much goes into the print shop. Those are the main ones. There's also the job hunt, and fun things like the girls and all. The point is, I need more energy and time to go to teaching if I'm going to be a good teacher. Period. I need to insist on my own visibility, and I need to give it more loving, attentive time. There has to be a way to make that happen. This isn't an excuse; it's an equation.