000007 #human Here I wanted to be so wise and hurt. Here I wanted to be steeped in grief like every other two bit celebrity out there that can't do a god damned thing about the war. Here I thought I was so careful not to act like I was wise, and you know what? I'm still a god damned fool for all that. I was mad about the kids, trying to get them buckled into the van, and it was hot, and I'm a fucking idiot, and my mom said gently, gently because that's what she is, that's what she's always been with me, even when I couldn't hardly stand it, she said, "Someday they're going to be thirty." And I acted like I understood, I smiled like I understood but you have to realize it's hot out here and I'm sweating and we have a long fucking way to drive, and I get what you're saying, and I know, I know, I appreciate them, as soon as we get home I'll stop and we'll play a game or something, but what she was really saying was, as soon as you get home it'll be too late. They'll already be too old to play Hi Ho Cherry-O. They'll be teenagers and they won't give a damn about the totally meaningless random rolls of the dice and they won't give a damn how many cherries are in their basket, or worse, they will give a damn and they'll be upset because they don't have enough, and you will have said later, I'll play that stupid, pointless game with you later, and you'll hear yourself saying it, and you'll know it sounds like a dumb story about some dumbass that always says later, but that's not you, you're just saying it this once, and by the time you actually do get around to sitting down and playing it with them it really will be pointless. That's what she was saying, you god damned stupid son of a bitch. Now go fill out the forms and give them a drop of your blood and get a job. And quit acting like it's such a big deal, because it isn't. It's only, as some other jackass who also thought he had to be so fucking wise figured out, life after all.