083013 #meerkat 2009 Your self's reputation in your own mind is a bugbear. You are smart, so to ask a question whose answer might be obvious is self-destructive. How the fuck about all that. How about start over. Today. Right now. Just like you did ten years ago. Just like you'll do in another week or another decade. Start a new game with a new game board, a new character, and new rules. HAVE FUN.