091313 #trout I kept getting ready to say how much I hated the man. But that's not it, really, is it? What it really is, most of the time, is that I just resent the necessity of his existence--because if not for him, I definitely wouldn't have been dejected enough to be looking down far enough to see the hole in the wall near the men's-room door. And if I hadn't seen the hole, I wouldn't have seen what was building and rushing up on the other side of it. So I wouldn't have had the forewarning to brace myself behind the milkshake machine, even though waitresses in tight skirts and sexy-utilitarian black aprons just about kicked me in the balls because obviously nobody's supposed to go back there. But when the tsunami hit, they were all washed away, along with all the other customers. As I was underwater, about to explode, desperate for a breath, I saw my girlfriend's necklace float by in the salty murk. That used to touch her breast! I swore to myself, and I clutched at it, like an infant clutches after absolutely nothing and anything at all. 042202 #eel We were having an intimate conversation and I was listening to her but also idly thinking that I probably should have married her.