120104 #human #roach I'm in this cafe because I'm executing time before going to the ritual gang-bang hootenany, and do you know what I really want? I really want that scrippy blond guy at that table over there -- no, that one, over there -- to be sketching a picture of me. I want him to show the ambivalently feminine way I hold my cigarette. I want him to catch glances every now and then when I'm looking away philosophically. I want to remain totally oblivious of his casually reverent gaze. I want the picture of my face to have all the right lines in it.