091313 #elephant As I am readying myself to knock on her window, because I'm pretty sure I love her now, or at least I'm pretty sure I want to insinuate myself into her life somehow, or at least I'm pretty sure she may want to give me a good rub-down with some of that massage oil I see on her old table there; as I'm warming up my speech centers to say, Hey, how've you been, I've missed you; as I'm already smiling knowing how she's going to smile and say, Hey, what's up you old dog, where the hell have you been, and as I can't absolutely can not fucking wait just to feel her, to touch her and be touched by her, to taste her smoke-fucked but weirdly still sweet breath again; as I'm in this moment of getting ready to slithe right through the semipermeable membrane that is another human's life, something seriously fucked up happens.