091313 #trout I joined the coast guard, and then I woke up and thought I had better kill myself, and so instead of doing that I decided to join the coast guard. I could get a decent job in there, because I had an education. I was going to be some kind of cultural expert or something. Whatever the dream said, I don't remember exactly. Some kind of regional cultural authority on some region or culture I didn't know anything about. But they had training. They would train me, and I could have that job and be a solid citizen, a real powerful man at last, and have a real woman and a real car, maybe even a truck or a four wheel drive or one of those things that's not exactly a car and not exactly a truck and not exactly a four wheel drive, but that's all cool and tight and efficient and powerful and that basically just says, yes, I have a good job and a big dick and I don't even have to compensate for it because I'm still young, and strong, and fast, and actually pretty smart, and I got all my meals taken care of and I got the full power of every god damned battleship in the world to back me up because, well, needless to say it didn't work out that way.