081313 #copperhead They're fucking tippy, okay? There! Happy now, fucker? I hate canoes because they fucking wibble wobble back and forth, every time you so much as twitch your dick muscles! Okay? I mean, whose the fuck idea was it to make a goddamn boat that's like twenty times longer than it is wide? What the fuck? I'm supposed to go down the river in a fucking hollowed-out *stick?* Fuck this! I'd like to be able to have the concept of *sideways* in my kinetic vocabulary, if that's all right with you, but no. Noooooo! He wanted to take the canoe. He, actually he *insisted* we take the canoe. So here I am, practically immobilized with vague discomfort in this one-dimensional torture craft, waiting for his heinous ass to get his ass down here out of the grocery store, past the parking lot, across the interstate, over the weedlot, through the tires and plastic bags and shrubs, past the condominiums' backyard, over the gate to the park, into the thick of the oaks and the maples, down from the cliff with the caves and the bats, across the granite flats, down along the winding stream to the place where the smaller streams meet and make the bigger stream, then turning upstream, past the fallen sycamore at the swimming hole where he lost his copper bracelet, veering left at the neverending hump of the water from the great freezing spring, to here, this gravel bar, this predetermined place where we were supposed to be, I don't have a watch, at least an hour ago. The fuck.