021913 #human 'i just don't know how much more of this I can take.' Celi came fussing down the stairs literally the moment I lay my head down. Didn't really mean to be short with her but it happened. Got her tucked in, settled down, calmed myself down and sweet talked her. Came back down here and tonight I'm just feeling like a damn fraud. Like all progress is a damned illusion and there's no future except going back to bring a dull empty slave after I get done with my little state-supported vacation from reality. People have to get jobs and work. Dumbass. Real jobs. Yeah go back to your therapist and act smart and then daydream and fantasize all the way home. You don't need drugs. You have your own goddamned self-whitewashing brain. Are you ever going to fix that hole in the wall bitch? Ok so you're bisexual. Good for fucking you. You're still a pissy nobody in a shabby townhouse with a bunch of kids who aren't getting any cheaper.