120912 #human It's my fault. I fed her the lies I needed to hear. Everyone else did, too. By not so random chance, she connected with a monster who did the same thing. *We were all the same to her.* The power of my fantasy overcame my judgment; at any time during the *x* years, I could have stopped and said, this doesn't make sense. Every lie came with a pre-packaged excuse to believe it. Every lie was wrapped in enough plausibility for a desperate, needy person to rationalize it away. And that's what I did. Over, and over, and over again. No matter what "my sexuality" is, that's the part I can't go back to. That would be suicide.