053103 #human #roach Well. So this is the end of May. It's gray, dingy, dismal, drizzly and cold. I couldn't get to sleep last night. I almost did, but then Ann came home earlier than expected, and my breathing changed, my alpha waves got choppy, and I stopped thinking about the things I had been thinking about. Like things it is a sin to say, and "anything can be in the cafe." And so on. Other crap like that, just flowing in and out as I oscillated toward blessed rest. Megan was rocking beside me. I had rocked her to sleep in my arms, and tho my back ached, it was good. God help me. What am I going to do.