000004 #human If I want to die I can, but everyone needs to be told, after the fact if necessary, that it was not because of them, not because I got suckered into the wrong life. I chose this path, and even if I didn't, I still choose to live here. It's my responsibility to do what I need to do to make it fun. I have everything I need, to do that. Even the balls, even the courage. I just sometimes forget that I have those. But I do. Al Green told me so. He told me to forget about the neurotic pseudo-themes, the self-worshipping micro-flagellations of the tortured artist, and start singing about love again. It doesn't matter how old you are or what your job is. He said Will you be my Valentine? and I said yes, and at that moment I could really believe it was true. And it is.