112813 #barndancers I miss you. I forgive me, do you? Meet me any time after eight. Swish through these weeds, ascend like rust. It's quiet here. Let's make a little sacrificial noise, to frighten away our past. 060212 #human I know what doing a good job feels like. I've been there. I want to go there again. What do i need to do? What else do i want? What's it going to "look like", as they unfortunately say? What's MY way? 081013 #dog HIM: Let's kill ourselves. ME: Okay. *Both their dicks start to get hard, but each thinks his erection is a secret from the other. It isn't. There will be no more secrets tonight.* 103197 #human Welcome back fuck you I hate you and everything you do and your cute little rage and antics don't impress me one bit you flea bitten horsefucking pathetically unwanted scrawny little beady eyed whore. 082013 #human i think trying to be an outlaw and a disisident isn't as effective for me as just being myself. --and having the strength to stand when just being myself means being an outlaw and a dissident! 081413 #worm As suddenly as anything involving the essence of infinity can happen, the blond boy turns into a dog. You just want to run, don't you? Him and Me bark along behind as the dog jets off down the streambed. 120813 #gull Okay, let's simplify a little. YES, how obvious the story elements are is a parameter. How obvious the author INTENDS them to be, that's probably not something we need to worry about too much on most days. 101503 #trout If it were later in the Fall, her tits would be cold, I imagine. As it is they kiss the summer, warm and wet, goodbye. Half emergent from a crimson strapless hug. I don't look again, then look away. 041512 #eel ...would have died of an angel through the wing ... ...not only did he defile my bed; His ocean thrust, thrust, thrust into my head. (refrain) a thousand miles... A thousand miles... (etc) 081613 #worm What the fuck you mean? Hearty laugh, slap on the butt. . . mmm, sweaty boy butt underneath those vacuous sweatpants. Say something else cute and dumb, so's I can slap you again in front of all these.... 081413 #worm What the hell are you doing here? the Aviary gasps. The dripping hot fangs of the Snoke hover above the scene. The drips are bucket-sized, and they douse the Aviary's naked nipples with a syrupy soup. 081413 #worm This is how it always happens. You end up sitting under a tree, or on a tree, or on some sharp round river rocks, or in a barn long lovingly abandoned. He tells you the names of birds and you believe him. 081613 #worm I'm thinking of her perfection, which was nobler in the tits than in the brain, if you have my meaning. I'm thinking of how much of an ass I was with her, but you know what, I don't really mind. 010601 #human Use that regret. Use it. And then later it started raining frogs. And Ann is sighing the voices in her head sigh. And I like to make a little extra noise when she gets like this. As if Maybe it would 083013 #treefrog 10/15/09 Mediocrity reigns. Even here. The general run of things is shit. Antonia says most people are mean, cruel, without feelins, and dont care about anybody. I am so tired. I look like a corpse. 020008 #eel and i was high that they were getting it, digging it, and they wanted to know how it was i could do that, but i couldn't explain it and instead took off my denim shorts. "Yes, I'm wearing panties." 010314 #jonquil Okay, so, cereal, some kind of fake frosted flakes, the last of the milk. Um, let's see. There's a turnip, some yellow squash, a tomato is technically a fruit, but yeah. No thanks. So cereal. 090813 #worm And then she tosses her hair once, takes hold of the donkey's bridle which is made of daisy-chain, and they walk out, leaving me alone. And in the silence I listen to the language of most resistance. 040604 #squirrel where we can linger in the unimaginable luxury of right now ...a kiss, a barely discernable look in the new dark, a small piece of conversation floating up like a firefly's irreverent end... 070012 #human #crow what i want from my job: I want to be good at it. I want to feel special. I want to not dread going there. I want to be able to relax there. I want it to leave time for my kids. 220330 011914 #robot #gull #deletethis Okay, now it changed to the one I was working on when I started this complaint. So there's some logical pattern there, I'm too tired to keep hashing out exactly what it is. 102913 #snail Maybe a train could tremble in the station like Mark Helprin said, and we could squeeze each others hips and get so excited we have to go to the bathroom, the tiny adventure box, once we get on there. 222824 062896 #human i feel like i'm constantly sending myself messages as clues how to get out of a time loop, but the only time during the loop i can remember them is when i'm actually composing them. 191337 081613 #worm I can see the longing in their eyes. The unanswerable curiosity. The simple confusion and bafflement, as they watch the worlds go by, so close, inches away, in slow motion, near enough almost to touch-- 110113 #human You can't just go along and expect your mom or your dad or Anne or the ghost of your excuse or any random phantom people who care about you to tell you what to do and bail you out when you don't do it. 000002 #human #meerkat when you find the worm hole (or the dragon, or anybody or anything) ride it around a while. Let it eat one thing everywhere you light, and then go on. Repeat until ready to do something else. 083013 #treefrog 09/22/09 Perform the smoke test. Understand? Youve already messed up your life. At least that you have with them in common. The hardest moves have fundamental starting points that arent impossible. 081413 #worm Psst! In here! a voice behind the hand stage-whispers. Me stares. The hand is connected to a flannel-sleeved arm, which is sticking out from a half-raised, rusty iron grate between two dun green dumpsters. 000003 #human Let's see what the teh-dsa has to say about all this: hey. That's what it said. So fucking fuck me. Let's give it a chance to make a transition: pour boldly. And drink your wife's silk feet. 020008 #eel it's about this old lady on the side of the launch-way super-tube super-express where no one ever slows down, but you, even as you're flying along, manage to say "Hi Missis whatsyername" and she smiles #robot #trout The nanobots could make, say, *change the sheets* appear to scroll in shades of luminous amber over every available surface in your house. 141850 012414 #mistress #celeste I miss being some junk stuck to the bottom of your shoe. I also miss my spunky, healthy, energetic smart friend. The ultimate orgasmic explosion is when I get both. 081413 #worm Me looks. He looks at her as one looks at a rocking chair with which one is suddenly in love. to talk to her. His smile turns into a crescent moon. Do you know what I mean? Does that make sense? 010314 #jonquil Well, I—Gwen said, slowing down in front of her house. Can I come in? Mary said, slowing down the entire universe. Yeah! It was a little too chipper, but today that was okay. 081413 #worm Bnabe groaned. The bleeding had almost stopped. Every time the willow-haired girl jounced the car over another pit or rut, weeds ran their fingernails over the underbelly. Bnabe groaned again. 133904 012414 #crow Telling you not to slip back into the oblivion of everyday internet life. If you just mask or drug the anxiety every day, you kill your motivation to fix the underlying. 104145 041313 #human Things i'm grateful for: Megan typing a goofy story about a boy discovering he's a robot; she's cracking herself up while listening to Libby read each word as it appears on the ipad screen. 081613 #worm The girl behind him and to his left quashes her cigarette with a grimy black stiletto. Honey, she says through ghetto makeup. Honey. She rests one fair, slender hand on the crook of his arm. 082513 #bunny My fingers struggle to release the buttons of his jeans. His red hard-on thrusts out. I grab it with my fist, and it sends grubby electricity to my guts. It comes closer and I smell it. 030004 #human Pretend you're looking away off left thinking about something profound or profane, while the exquisite trivia of that girl with the black leather boots is about to catch you looking at her. 041594 #eel "Here is a man who cannot see. Who cannot see beauty because he has no idea what it really is, who probably is a lousy lover because he obviously cannot sense the true source of beauty...." 082813 #crow Freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom. I could write that word fifty thousand times. It wouldn't win me any awards, not even spurious duck-bobbing ones, but it sure would be a good reminder. 081013 #dog *Walking. Alongside, I think, a creek. Yes, I think I can barely hear it. Tinkle, tinkle. I think I can barely smell it. Fresh, sodden shit. I think I can almost, barely, not quite get naked.* 000096 #squirrel because your such a foreign experience to me your so alive you are sometimes like marg peircy seays a light that you can read by., i dont think yo kjnow that but at least for me you are 112713 #squirrel Actually, not this time, this time it is just you and me. We are who we were those many years ago....walking down the alley from the 7Eleven. We were amazing, you know that, don't you? 000096 #squirrel sacks we dont sound like that do we thats different your trying to say sacks now, but when you say sex it sound to the missourian like sacks sex yes just like that it really does 081313 #copperhead Water in a river laughs more, because it's never far from shore. Always running, never too deep, with a surprising wiry strength—kind of like my friend! who happens to speak up now: 081413 #worm Do you ever get the feeling you've been saying someone else's lines, but you say them so well, you don't notice anymore that they're not yours? Do you ever get the feeling you're invisible? 120512 #human It's time to go ahead and get out there and get made fun of. There's a reason the word "fun" is in that, after all. Strength in gentleness; gentleness is strength. Clues are everywhere. 010314 #jonquil Butter tastes better than oil, she figured. So she made the popcorn with a little bit of oil in the pan, but then melted a big old hunk of butter to drizzle over it when it was done. 000096 #squirrel sorry go on wait the phone [it was glenn he's coming over] now that could not have been more perfectly timed if this WERE fiction. and i have this big grin type of feeling now. 081613 #worm Isn't it ironic, Margie sez as we sit around the formica waiting. Here we are on a quest to find the place where there is no service, expecting service cuz we're hungry and ready to eat. 011814 #trout "I really like your overly large front teeth," I tell her the next time she glides past me on the ice. "I like how your chest sticks out and your lower back curves in," she says with a smile. 041204 #squirrel Perhaps we should include pertinent real time information about ourselves in these things as well? What have your daughter's been named? Mine is named Clara. My given name is America. 111513 #gull Funny thing about the teh-dsa; ask it a question; shrug; think it isn't working; decide to try again--WHEN YOU THINK IT WASN'T TELLING YOU ANYTHING, THAT'S WHEN IT WAS TELLING YOU THE MOST 011703 #eel I was sitting at a table with Donna. I said, "Hi, Laura." She said, "Hello, Matt. Confess something about yourself." I said, "Uh... maybe later." Then I regretted having let the chance go by. 010314 #jonquil She had a little daydream about bacon, then went back upstairs to put some clothes on. That's enough padding around naked for one day. She sighed. Likely to get a splinter anyway. 000096 #squirrel if they are so easy to throw away, why was it such a big deal that one night when you called up steve becuz i still because i still want because i still want to sleep with men' 090012 #squirrel With the Unreported income offers me no real advantage right now. On a heavier note, sentencing in the criminal case is on Friday. I'll be speaking at the hearing. Wish me strength. 110004 #human You've been sent a FAX, my friend. How does that make you feel? It's a garbled text about making her smell like her, making her look like her, and ceasing to hide your obsession with her. 000002 #human it's all so weird. we're getting married. it's going to be a pot luck. a picnic. a real picnic with ants and turf and ketchup and dirt, and a host of big wet storm clouds gathering in the west 082713 #bunny So what? What's the point of all this? The point of all this (she patiently explained inside his treacherous body) is the steam, the sweat, the beat, the brow, the hot red wood of the snoke. 081413 #worm Silence reigns, over and under the constant frisson of pine cones crunching, mayflies lamenting--the myriad of indefinable forest noises that only disappear when something really new begins. 000002 #human but I just get these glimmerings sometimes that our dreams could erupt into this world in a flash. I hope if I'm decieving myself the deception breaks the veil and I get what I pay for. 011410 #treefrog Today's successes: taking Marques to BK to drop off his application; buying him lunch. Adapting the dramatic presentation project for Nyeisha, and helping her be able to get it done. 081013 #dog ME: What are you holding back? HIM: All my mistakes. ME: Why are you doing that? HIM: Because I am afraid of losing you again. ME: There is cause for me to understand that. However. 011614 #gull #placeoftheway Don't make art. That may emerge if it wants to; it's not your problem. Teh-dsa was Legos, it was colored tiles found in the dirt. Build stuff and play with it. Go ahead. 010514 #alex #squirrel At some point, Alex's (nick)name will become this, KK for short: On Nov 7, 2013, at 6:51, Jacqueline Ray [[email protected]][1] wrote: How goes the war, Kitty Kat? 021297 #squirrel It was an easy drive. The tapes that I listend to were very dorky. They soem sort of , dumb stories. Stuart gave them to me. I tried to give them back, but he wouldn't take them. 081013 #dog *We fuck. Well, actually, to be precise, ahem, ah, Italic HIM fucks Italic Me. It's nice. I like it. It makes me pant like a dog and cry out like a baby. Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me. Please.* 081413 #worm No, just like this. Him demonstrates the proper exaggerated miming motion of closed fist and forearm. Ha! Him says. I could have told you to jerk off in front of me and you really would have. 091313 #elephant I'm thinking about how warm she is, and the fingers of astonishing lust are lightninging up around my loins as I think of her. There is a faint scent of sandalwood still on my clothes. 081613 #worm #roach We order. Mostly everything is made of corn, but they do have sweet potato fries here, and a few slabs of slightly greenish roast beef. And nobody in the cafe pays any attention. 120012 #human #bunny Only it's not too late. It's not. Just ask the bawdy band of colorful outlaws over to my left there. Yeah, them. Go ahead. Ask them. They won't bite. Or will they? Har har har.... 041403 #human Pink yellow white, pink yellow white, pink yellow white.... Ka-chnk, ka-chnk, ka-chnk, ka-chnk.... Let's just get some air moving in here. It's not my life I hate, it's the lack of it. 000001 #eel tall, skinny houses, ours the 2nd one on the block. camera pans up first one slowly; you see into a room or two on each floor. playing piano. playing chess. having a fight. lamplight.... 062602 #human bored of sex bored of tears bored of whiskey bored of beers bored of dancers bored of screams bored of stories bored of dreams bored of this bored of that bored of food but getting fat 102913 #snail #featherwoman And after we watched that movie and I was all full of fizzy energy, I struggled like a muppet to get the covers straight, and I said a few strange outbursts that made you laugh. 091313 #elephant Then we smoked pot, drank whiskey, absent-mindedly rubbed our feet together--her toenails were impish pink, more perfect than her stereotype allowed--I loved that--and fucked again. 010113 #human Megan said, "Why do we celebrate New Year's? It's just another year. So what?" I didn't really have an answer. We stayed up past midnight alternating watching King of the Hill and Futurama. 081313 #copperhead Or when he recognized the muskrat tracks—even identified them as female, if he can be believed—but then stomped his big clunky human tracks right over them when we were portaging— 010314 #human the unutterable luxury of a few limes, sitting casually on the counter, waiting to be used on a whim to brighten up someone's late-night great draught of sparkling water 112813 #gull #gargor What comes out of a molting? Free feathers. I never claimed to have invented the feather. How did you think of this? I am asked, and the answer is I survived, I let go. 123002 #human Came upstairs to smoke. The wind howls like an old LP. The green walls hold, slowly crumbling around me and everyone else that lives up here. Everything is falling into place 081013 #dog Night. All days are endless nights. MEhieu is playing games with his lover. Everyone plays games in that completely underground, labyrinthine, cellular world known as the snoke. 012297 #squirrel Dancing for Valentine's day silly. (I think that was what I was talking about any way. That or the class I want to take.) Must go. They are about to take us off line. 000094 #human It's like you're expected to get bad criticism, and still go on. It's a token of your fighting spirit. It assures people that what you've got to offer is something worth fighting for. 090813 #horse I think it may be time to go. I got orchids. I have some preparations to make. I got tea roses. I looked wildly around me like a horse. Flowers! Flowers! Flowers! Flowers! 130545 012214 #gull #robot It's amazing how many pages still don't exist. Who wouldn't have thought there were that many seconds in a day! And how few of them we actually notice. 214104 000002 #human I can think of absolutely nothing to say. So maybe I should take my cue from the line of ants marching from skillet to skillet on the sticky peach- coloured wall, and think of nothing. 102913 #snail #bunny Later that same night, you're biting the rougher, larger neck of some man, tasting his hardness that butts up against yours, rough on rough, a form of cooperative combat. 122306 #human Where does fierceness come from? Just learned that Grandma Schulte's grandma died at age 101—she was shot to death by a burglar whose mask she ripped off, saying, "I know you..." 000002 #human even back THEN it wasn't all just tits and roses. And you managed to slither your way out of THAT juicey hot mud hole. And you remember the slithering as life! So..... What now? 120413 #human I thought coming to our new Starbucks would help me so-called "write," but all it's doing is making me stink like a coffee shop, and thistling my ears with damned Christmas music. 091413 #trout You can hear them when you're half asleep or half awake. You have to walk nine yards of shadowed canopy to get to the massive (which side is the front? there are so many) doors. 102913 #snail ...Or it can split apart your rational side from your hidden desires: "When they asked the right side what their patient wanted to be when he grew up, he replied 'an automobile racer. 010314 #jonquil No one said anything. Mary was standing there, breathing like a horse. Gwen stared at the carefully inscribed wounds. They were beautiful and horrible, artistic and degenerate. 081413 #worm If you forget, you can ask one of your neighbors for help. The nearest neighbors are in the second gully over. But if they ever need help, you had better be ready to help them, too. 081413 #worm People are dancing. It's turning into a mud show. A ritual gang-bang mud-show. They're making sandwiches out of each other out there. Bare feet on shards leave lots of blood. 102913 #snail #featherwoman When you started to get just a little bit obviously not completely comfortable on the couch, I said you can share the bed if you want, and you said do you want? 081413 #human I just wanted to say days might become people, and also it's like 3 o'clock in the morning and I'm actually kind of okay with that. I've been doing some interesting work / play. 112813 #avocat I misread his affect and intention. I thought him greasy and false, but in reality he is a mentor. *And* he is wounded. And he is imperfect. He needs you as much as you need him. 000000 #human I showed her the Goethe quotation Dad wrote under my Tonahutu photograph and I said I thought it was an expression of his faith in me, as well as a handing down of a responsibility. 091413 #worm I wouldn't mind sitting here on my contentment right now is not happy. I've agreed to remain as evil as much a lot more universal networks that ruddy, low light was a thing 010314 #jonquil Pink curtains quivered in the late morning breeze. Mary was saying something with her mouth full. She stopped and turned around so fast that Gwen almost collided with her. 081413 #worm Dorbifr rummages in the duffle bag. Presently he finds what he is looking for, and proffers it to her: a single, fresh, undeniably plaid rose. It smells like a girlhood not yet spent. 010314 #gull #storyteller how to shred half-formed stories and then weave together the bunch of fragments like reverse storytelling but then clandestinely turn it back into actual storytelling 052413 #human see? i'm actually learning something. "at my age". I'm actually learning a new thing. Listening to the less strident voices within. It feels like it's actually making a difference. 120813 #human #seeker Information is celestial; stories human. We are story engines. Stories are exhaled carbon dioxide. Our truths, lives, fates, all information encoded with and by our DNA. 082313 #human #treefrog I either have to put myself into extreme situations, or recognize the extremity of the situations I am already in. Or both. I need to invent my own serenity prayer. 081413 #worm Him likes to pretend to introduce Me and Dekna every time they see each other. It's one of those annoying habits he has. Dekna, this is my buddy, he says. He's not as dumb as he looks. 010314 #jonquil Shit, nothing for lunch. There were a couple of apples left on the apple tree. They didn't look great, but she plucked them and stuck them in the pocket of her sweatshirt. 051111 #martian 1. WHY IS THERE ALWAYS SO MUCH MOTHERFUCKING SHIT ALL OVER THIS GOD DAMNED HOUSE? 2. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK 3. See you in the morning! 000001 #human #trout #treefrog "Blala lala choopie la doopie doo!" squawked the guy who had to act like a dork. "Piddley shiddley addley poooo!" There then followed a series of loud thumps. 000008 #human There's about nothing so unsettling as seeing yourself in literature. I mean really your self, not the cartoon character you take drugs to make yourself think you wish you were. 010714 #jan I knew it was time to go, and I wasn't feeling particularly eager. I asked my friend, and she—yes she was definitely a woman now—agreed to go with me. That was some relief. 010414 #warmglowbox What are you putting into the box? Jerking the fuck off, turning self-attention and affection into some kind of blown-out fantasy oblivion self-loathing tawdry obsession. 100112 #human Megan said as we were coming home, "Why do the best songs always come on right when you're almost pulling into the driveway?" Hey. I'm 42. I'm gay. I'm a writer. Okay. Let's go. 102913 #snail #featherwoman No, her, I said hurriedly so as to dispel the notion that my famous friend from Alaska whom I've known since I was a teenager could possibly be that nondescript. 091313 #worm of course, if it's not there, you can pick up almost any book that draws your eyes, your fingers through the dust--she will have written that one, too. 000096 #squirrel okay. here's one for you. is my glass now all empty or just not at all full? in any case its' not what its not at all full and thats a problem. so fill it up. 081213 #pickuptruck windows open big sky brakes fixed kid chattering holding hands hardware store free popcorn haul concrete next stop post office gravel road back to work... 081013 #dog *I can make you a girl, I can make you a bitch, I can slice off your puny balls, stuff them in your mouth, and you'll mumble thank you as your spit and blood drips out around them.* 082713 #trout I am afraid of the pump room, its hollow of the machine age. It beckons downward. Its gears would like to eat me up. It is lonely in there, and cold. I am drawn to the pump room. 081013 #dog *They make as if to pack their bags, then look at each other and sigh. They have nothing of value to pack, really. They go out the door. They go out the door. They go out the door* 040606 #squirrel > world of abstraction and security and material excess, > a world in which [I feel] grievously cut off from the > raw throb of existence?" you ARE the raw throb, man! 101413 #martian - I'm feeling a little like a baby again - I'm feeling a little like I'm in an echo chamber of special praise again - what should I be spending this hour doing instead? 090011 #elephant "I bet I could could count to thirty and have you come right here with your head in the toilet, humping the bathroom floor. Oh wait, I would only have to count to one. Wouldn't I?" 102913 #snail #featherwoman And you did, I think, although they seemed a little subdued much of the weekend, a little less boisterous making pies and painting nails than I might have imagined. 010314 #jonquil Her house was usually so empty. She resoundingly, ringingly had not noticed, until it wasn't empty. How Mary ended up here today was like a tiny, pinpoint miracle in itself. 081413 #worm There is also a dog lying in one corner, coated with golden comfortable hair, exerting a comfortable 80 pounds of pressure on his oval braided rug. He's chewing mightily on a bone. 081413 #worm Me isn't sure, and the unknown plunges him into gawky self-doubt. But the tiny little green men in his gut are running around in gastric circles, singing, Find out! Find out! Find out! 082313 #crow 112413 #human girls watching hairy podder. popcorn, small space; many smells, heat. fur. a den of mammals surviving the winter popcorn & movies are essentially the same thing. 081613 #worm She slides her cool hand along the tortuously ancient wood of the balcony rail. She can see downstairs from here; the sun is already shopping though the shut doors. 102913 #snail #thesnailisdrunck #ass Even if the eyes can't force the two highway center lines to merge, experience can solve for where the one real line should really be. 092413 #human Morbid thoughts? Imagining, daydreaming the most horrible? You're not sick, you're making a connection. You're inoculating yourself against apathy and obedience. 090813 #worm Two guys in overalls are fixing the spots on my kitchen wall where the tiles were falling off. They are talking passionately about the best way to fix the problem. 091313 #trout The spaceship slices on through the many worlds. It makes me sad and jubilant at the same time, because I know. I know things the other passengers do not know. 050712 #trout They have a song called "stopped raining," and they play it every time--dancing on the sun-steaming boards. The children celebrate like ducks in the grassy puddles. 081413 #worm Because I'm a ghost, honey. I become not a ghost long enough for someone else to get someplace else. It's just something that happens to me. I have a deep well of anger. 120913 #robot #ass Should you need to spread them out and move them around on a corkboard, is there any way to do that? ++I never did that with real index cards, but whatever.++ 040604 #squirrel #bothy (and knowing, in the gathering dew, that we'll be home across the galaxy in time for warmth, touch, more friends, supper, and more warmth....) 141850 112413 #human #demons fear & nervousness are not exactly the same thing. I'm nervous about working at an unfamiliar school. I fear being a toothless, helpless pathetic old pauper. 111813 #deeppool pulling off the old windy road, leaning our bikes against some trees, sitting on the low old stone wall, gazing together down in, seeing completely different things 081613 #gull The obvious epiphany is (almost) always false. The paradox of examining the worth of the statement "the unexamined life is not worth living" led me to that epiphany. 040513 #thirteenstones It was like a zoo on a cool spring morning, pebbled walks and rock fences rainwashed with the promise of sugared heat to come. The animals began to arrive. 000004 #human ah hazel how you could hold me in and make me come bnabe how you sent me out again but when it comes to suck my fuckin dick bitch cholula handsdown wins 000097 #human I realized that the reason I send mixed messages about sex with my female friends is not that I'm an evil manipulative bastard, it's because I have mixed feelings. 010314 #warmglowbox Another perfectly legitimate question is, What does the box protect you from? And, how does it make you feel to contemplate having nothing to put in the box? 081013 #dog You can really hear yourself think, on a night like this. This is the science of god, exposed, arch-backed, taut-breasted, bated, and ready. This storm is gonna deliver. 091313 #finch still a lake even if it's the memory of a painted turtle's breath. 090813 #fish goldfish goldfish goldfish (i just wanted to say goldfish 090813 #finch Dead leaves rustle and ignite! This is your life force. This is the speed of life going backwards. You can sense but not articulate it. 060908 #squirrel I left my home for almost a year, Matt. It was hard. Not all of life is easy, and I have struggled too. That is why I am going to continue to count my blessings. 010614 #bushmill What are you waiting for? Mel demands. I think you owe this man a little something. Her eyes flick for just an instant toward the lump of bills on the floor. 000002 #human He just gave me another smoke. I'm not getting much typing done, but I'm smoking and drinking coffee and watching the cars circle outside the tank, neon in the black 010514 #max No-one? The merry-go round, once painted like a circus, now flaking chips and rust, begins to turn. It squawks and skirls in disbelief, its boards begin to rumble. 081813 #treefrog The "bad" kids LITERALLY CAN'T SEE THE PAYOFF. The NEGATIVE ATTENTION IS THEIR PAYOFF! Plus, it makes THEM in CONTROL, no matter (especially) how MAD you get! 081413 #worm That's very magnanimous for someone with as big an ass as yours, interjects Geprorogo. Not to mention your scrawny legs. You're like a pumpkin on two sticks. 081013 #dog HIM: Ho yeah, I remember. You were quite the little muff diver, as I recall. ME: Well you weren't exactly Miss Icy Formality when it came to pussy, either, you know. 010314 #jonquil Sweetie? Mary's mom called, her voice intrusively close through the closed door. Mary didn't answer, and Gwen sat awkwardly, feeling inadvertently sneaky. 081413 #worm And there you have it--a cryptic, three-point constellation: imprecise, probably inaccurate, sparse and not even utilitarian. As I said, the map of Npydyuan ain't much. 011414 #human #martian #trout Mil: Celi, you're not supposed to do that! It's for emergencies! Celi: It *was* a mergency, I wanted a kitty! Mil: That's not an emergency! 081013 #dog *Knotted and warped, forgotten and relaxed, ancient, withered, and full of spitting, foaming, spuming spirit; youth is green moss racing from tree to tree to tree* 000005 #human Yeah. I'm tired. I'm just so incredibly tired. I don't think I've ever been this tired. I'm tired, I can't seem to get all the way warm, and I have ridiculous hair. 081413 #worm Krim ignores Barp's empty cup as she walks away. Him drops all his money on the still-messy table--a massive pile of coins, it amounts to about seventy-three cents. 000098 #human because my underarms smell horsey like a man and my forearms are graced with black lace • because I can move slowly at first, and feel the ground through my feet 081813 #treefrog #meerkat FUCK. Imagine that you are dying. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. If you're no good, accept it. Read. You don't have to take notes. Write. 081613 #worm You walk with him through the blasting sunshine, along the boardwalk. Is he really taking a class? Or does he just want to watch your tits? Smoking in the bookstore. 081313 #copperhead At some point, you almost have to think that. It's like getting a gift card at Christmas from somebody who has to get you a present but doesn't really know you. 120913 #human #roomfullof1000voices waiting for the fucking Internet to deliver some kind of salvation,anything besides some kind of pointless twisted clever useless joke 081413 #copperhead So of course I go through the pleasant motions of acting incredulous and exasperated, and of course we pack up and go paddling down the river in the rain. 081413 #worm Ltiky follows a few paces behind, walking as if the squishing mud were broken glass. He knows he looks ridiculously stiff, but knowing that does nothing to relax him. 091013 #treefrog #meerkat #marknagy What do I know about this rock? How did this rock form? Why does this rock look the way it does today? How did this rock get here? 081413 #worm Omsatigo has a special soft place in his lumpy, black, coal-fired, half-shriveled, half-coiled, steaming turd of a heart for whores. It was a whore who saved his life. 000002 #human slow down dumb fuck, you're talking too fast. didn't you listen to my little poem about you? take my advice, don't listen to me, you're making love to her not me 000096 #squirrel and you know what i promised myself after wendy asnd i broke up that i would nbever again have regrets and guilt as a regular part of my life is it working 041212 #eel Also there were some girls like jb and her mean girl clan and I watched them in the hall for a while wondering how they got that way and what they thought they were. 083013 #treefrog 2010 Actually, don't even answer tomorrow. Let your body tell you. Remember packing the space for Dexter, after you had said you were going to leave him behind? 012904 #eel Your girlfriend was reclining, and I was sucking devotedly on her toes while you sat on the other side of the car making phone calls to other potential customers. 081413 #worm I've spent most of my life hiding, Hanad replies. I've heard that sound a lot of times. And if you get your damn dishes done, I'll show you where it's coming from. 000001 #human If I am ever sure it is too late for me to redeem myself in any way, too late to play any part at all no matter how small, then and only then will I really off myself. 070005 #human Sruky's hair is all gray now. Still he thumps 'n bumps! Bump on! He comes over by me to get some napkins. "I'm melting, man!" he murmurs. Yeah, I think we all are. 3/12/02 The conception that an artist must be drunk, insane, or ineffectual is yet another poison fed us in our corporate milk, to keep us weak. 011314 #warmglowbox What are you putting into the box? Chips, salsa, generic wheat thins, leftover bacon, maple brown sugar frosted mini wheats, you name it! 000002 #human Why some hands hold coffee just so; why some caress The hand without the question mark more soft, alert why some hands like rabbits escaping rain 000009 #human We are in an era where history is an artifice, voluntary. At the same time, it has the potential to be mind-blowingly detailed and complete. Weird. 080613 #dragon dispeller of illusions (see #wheelbarrow) likes to rush in through the window and mess up your papers and stuff invisible made of wind 030006 #human Does slop count in bullshit? I mean, if you're a bullshitter even though you don't mean to be, do you still get cool points for being a bullshitter? 102502 #eel I asked her if she had any drugs and she said no but we could be superheroes and so the four of us ran around wearing flamboyant capes and stuff. 081413 #worm The Aviary and the Snoke reel on their stools all through the night, waiting to see if they'll get lucky. They get progressively, exquisitely plowed. 081613 #worm #crow Another angry voice Mad at you for being black, mad at you for being ignorant, mad at you for being poor, mad at you for being my problem. 120913 #berserker Why do we all just sit in waiting rooms being complicit with the bloody onslaught of Christmas songs? Who the fuck likes this shit? Why do we bend over and take it? 011997 #squirrel Listen babe, I don't have to teach tomorrow, so if you want to call late tonight, please do. you tell me your stories, i'll tell you mine. 120213 #human If it starts to feel like wallowing, maybe it is now. Get back to work. It doesn't mean it was wallowing a minute ago. You don't have to feel bad. 000094 #human You know, as mad as I was at Scott when I stepped out of the car, even in that rush of anger and violence, there was something I was enjoying about it. 072613 #human The girls' needs closed out Don's and my conversation; he left me a cup of popcorn on the table where we'd been talking before he went to bed. #ifthatsnotnicewhatis 082413 #finch dream half life this autumn always dead tired always afire 010614 #bushmill We smoke cigarettes as the anonymity of the highway flies, faster than fuck, backwards on both sides of us, forever and forever and forever. 081413 #copperhead "You're awfully quiet," he says/chews. He holds out a segment without looking over at me. I take it. It's plump, not too acid, not too sweet. 091113 #gull JCO does a really good job not caricaturizing good and bad. Everyone has flaws, everyone is doing the best they can from their own perspective. 081613 #worm 1) Why are you so afraid of passion, and Really, when you think about it, that's what everyone in this room is saying. When you think about it. Again. 070012 #human The pretending was certainly a thin thread. But a thin thread is all you need to cross a gorge, when your bare feet are callused, and knowing, and browned by the sun. 081413 #worm She looks at him as one looks at a file cabinet with which one is alone in the office, at night, not quite ready to face what waits for one at home. 081813 #treefrog #meerkat You got to learn to not try so hard to get them to do it right. Come back to this later, and see if you know what I'm talking about. 081313 #copperhead And what is it about waiting for someone that tries to make you mad, even when there's really nothing to get mad about? I mean, here I am. 112513 #human But why do we even need to do all this? Why do we need aphorisms, mnemonics, parables, passion plays, and schools? Do other animals have all this? 000001 #human If only she wouldn't squeeze the toothpaste tube in the middle--although I get the feeling she's doing that just to piss me off now, which is nice. 000001 #human and there is also a vague sense of isolation, weirdness, loneliness, restlessness, boredom--all of which is perfect, beautiful, right on schedule. 080913 I am a little concerned about what's going to happen to performance and reliability when we start getting to thousands of files in here, though. #gull 082413 #gull Maybe when "my mind isn't working" or "I can't write" it's because I'm doing some kind of research. Maybe I should just let myself enjoy that phase. 081613 #worm I tried to write a novel that afternoon, because I was still in jail you know, but it didn't turn out so good. It was too, I don't know how you'd say it. Oh. Sorry. Heh. 112013 #cave I almost brained one of your macho friends with a carbide headlamp. Everybody pretty much ignored me, including you. Why did you even bring me here? 110913 #snail ++gotta describe the truck sometime++ ++I never did that with real index cards, but whatever.++ ++you are still solving the wrong problem++ 000002 #human #crow #treefrog You see, the easiest habit in the world to make is the habit of stopping, of stalling out when you touch on the true story. 081313 #copperhead I should really have a drink of water, he thinks, before I deal with this, and so he sets the paper on his desk, but still he doesn't move. 000096 #squirrel heat for thought what for thought food for thought i thought (andf therefore i wrote) that you said "heat for thought" heat? yes. 091313