Oh btw, had the dream again, where she's back and I just kind of dully accept it and feel my freedom fade as if it had all been an illusion all along, and get ready to get back into just making the best of it and the old dull pain just starts to fill back up the swimming pool of all around me--and then I wake up life is sweet sunny and fruitful once more and I go to work and set about dealing with all the grubby indignities of necessity with a baseline of gratitude in my little heart. (2015)