060614 Just had a marathon [dream] sex session with my new girlfriend. Some before her frizzy blond friend left, some after. Then another couple came over and we switched off and did it some more. But the other girl and the other guy got distracted, and so then my girlfriend and I were like "I have an idea..." and went off to finish each other off. But we were so mischeivous, cheerful, loving about it with each other. And the phone rang and I guess it was her parents' house and she answered the phone in a whisper and i kinda tried to make her laugh and she was trying to talk to some guy about some school thing and she was trying not to laugh and she was short and rounded and punky and awesome and i felt a little cheesy saying god you're so beautiful, but it was true. Mostly i was myself, though for a moment i think i was the other guy. occasionally i was myself but i was watching myself, like when she said, "it's harder than i thought it would be." and we fucked some more. it was just so nice. not perverted, not in the strained, depraved sense. just so much companionship and affection and exercise and warm skin and fucking. There was a moment when I started to leave, to walk away up the sidewalk with a paper in my hand, and she stuck her head out the screen door, over the stoop, it was getting dark, and said something to me or asked me something, and it was almost like waking up, or being clicked out of a hypnosis or something, and I went back in the house and loved her, and i was thinking as i was walking back, damn, i'm glad she just happened to say something right then, or i would have been gone and this would have been just a memory. so much depends on chance. and i wake up and enjoy the feeling of being in my own body for a change, and i say to myself i'm lonely, but lonely isn't exactly the right word. But god I do want a friend.