Friends and family wanted me to go on the patch, but i resisted. To appease Ruth, my monkey friend slapped one on me, but we had dismantled the drug-dispensing element surreptitiously. Sitting on the slope of Mom's front lawn, I epitomized to Ruth: Smoking is a substitute for learning a skill. Learning something is hard. It takes time. Smoking is easy. It's a substitute. She looked at me with a combination of, "Well, duh..." and approval.