i was going to start over, be reborn as an infant human in my same family and start over as my own little brother (or sister?). It was unclear whether the current me would still exist or not. I was going to make a little book of things to tell myself to help me out, and give it to my mom and say, here, save this and give it to me when i'm old enough to read it. It was covered in green construction paper. So far, the main points I was trying to get across had to do with seizing the day and pursuing your dreams vigorously, not waiting around for stuff to happen to you. Pick something and work your ass off and get good at something. Start early, for it will soon be too late. Have fun. I was thinking, hey, maybe I'll be good at something else! like maybe math or something! Also my brother was there, but first he appeared as female, and said I was as good as dead already, because all we ever did was talk like dead people. I was indignant about this. To illustrate the point, he/she hissed and growled as he/she walked past me in the kitchen (we were setting the table), as an animal would who was rearing back in the presence of walking death. I had poured the milk for dinner, but left the full glasses in the china cabinet. Then I remembered to get them out. One of them left a little ring-puddle, which I wiped as best I could with my hand and shirt cuff. Earlier, I had caught a bus back from the airport in some widespread, sunny, halfempty city. The bus when it came turned out to be a big old Oldsmobile, the driver a kindly black gentleman who discussed with me for several minutes the pro's and con's of sitting in the front versus the back seat. If I sat in the back seat it would help traction by putting weight over the drive wheels. Finally, I elected to sit in the front. I had the diaper bag with me, and put it in the back, next to a bunch of boxes and bags of the driver's junk.