odd that this is from May 12, 2001: had another dream about the wrong girl. she along with her little buddies were playing playground tricks on me [why does she always start talking aloud to the dogs when i'm trying to concentrate on something else, but not other times? god DAMN it] at this weird dinner party (where previously, during the preparation phase where everybody was drinking beer, i argued with Alvin and his old cronie friend--KLH was playing call-in responses to the news that Bush had just started some land war, i think even in our own turf, without anyone's real permission except his cabinet of course, and after one who protested they pointedly played some hippie-dippie "classic hit" making fun of anti-war. Al & friend laughed, I was disgusted, said so. Alvin and I actually yelled our respective opinions at each other. Even in the dream, I was amazed a bit. They basically said war was necessary and inevitable, the way thatu an organism necessarily and inevitably eats other organisms. I said it was wrong, that Bush had just walked all over our rights. Al's friend said if I were a country, I wouldn't survive. I said yes I would, I just wouldn't . . . "Excel?" asked Alvin I think) and I got really pissed off and yelled at them. Later the "wrong" girl--she had rounded, ducklike short hair, a strange posture, huge dark-hazel eyes--was screwing around again behind my back (she and her friend were at a separate "kids" table behind the main one at whose foot I sat), in that way where you can't quite tell if it's at your expense or not, but you're pretty sure it is. I got up, went over by her, tapped her shiny head with my forefinger, said, "I don't like you very much. [pause] But there are some things I like about you. [pause] Let's just leave it at that." And sat down. Katy was also there, to my right a couple seats up (opposite the youngu guys who had also been fucking with me, grabbing stuff off my plate and giggling till I yelled at them really loud), and I realized I had been ignoring her (and felt kind of bad about it--because I felt sorry for her and because I knew she would be pissed off at me) when after a few more shenanigans by the odd girl, I went over to the "kids" table, picked up the girl, sat back down at my seat and set her on my lap. I was surprised I was doing it, even more surprised at how right she felt sitting there. I stroked her slender legs through her satiny pink pants. Earlier, Kate had come to the print shop to ask me when I was off, and did I want to join her little band. She actually had people with odd instruments who were going to be gathering later. It sounded kind of cool, but I thought I already had plans. I hemmed and hawed, not wanting to hurt her earnest feelings, but not wanting to commit. Very telling, eh?