230851 i'm not actually drinking right now, but i could be, but i'm not, so i don't mind saying that drinking is often a way to not face the alternative, which sometimes seems like just being a loser. but i'm not actually that either. it's just, when you have less than a hundred dollars, for real, no shit, that's it, and four kids, it can sometimes be really tempting to feel that way. and then if you drink you can massage yourself into feeling like something else. like a nostalgic tragic figure, for instance. and that and 50 cents will get you a cup of coffee. but dude. you can't spare the 50 cents. so this time we're going to try something else. the more desperate, the better. the more real, the better. life and death, biting the flesh, screaming out the fears doing the drama surrender and live surrender to the fight and live (2014)