- realized there's some grey areas in between "oppositional defiant" and "apologetic obsequious", too. Like, she raised some good points, and her concerns are her concerns, but that doesn't mean I need to throw away my everything and assume I'm clueless and wasn't doing anything at all right or with potential. She may be a computer programmer (so she *says*) but that doesn't mean she's queen of the fucking universe. Part of being a *professional* is you get to have some autonomy, and some opinions, and the opportunity to back them up, and you get to not have to agree with every single thing every over-controlling parent has to say. But yes, she did have some good points. (2015)