084448 i hafta come here for student/retiree pay and nurture and show superlative patience towards other people's kids, after this morning i made my own sweet kindergartener cry over her inability to find her little pink shoes. i feel like a depressed monster. also i am surprised by how much i resent the no phone rule here, and all the other rules, even though i understand why they are necessary. i feel it is important to be honest about this: i don't like it here, and i can't wait to leave. not because i hate everyone and it's all shit, but because other people should do this, and i should be doing something else. but i'm going to make that change with dignity. i'm going to take care of my own without self-destructively lashing out at everyone around me, whose fault my problems aren't. (2014)