i kicked a thousand and one butts today. got wecan updated. checked a bunch of other shit off the list. didn't lose my shit. took care of business. now i'm going to watch some dumb tv and have a beer and some pretzels without going nuts. i paused just long enough to breathe like one and a half times and think this to myself. the house is still shabby. the neighbors still smell bad. justin called me "the neighbor" yesterday. really? does he actually not remember my name? "Alyssa, the neighbor wants his kids sent home." i'm still worried. megan is still pissed that other people's houses are like hotels. everybody's supposed to be in bed but somebody's still creaking around up there. individual primates are still very noticeable to other individual primates and we all kind of act like every little thing we do is a big deal. certain primates wear certain clothes and there's a code to that but it's so complex we're not even sure how it works, or maybe we just think it's complex but it isn't, because we're kind of dumb and don't see what's obviously right in front of our weirdly fallible primate eyeballs. i'm still old. but i look ok. I seem to be somewhat at least for now thinking with some kind of idea of something that could be described as the future in mind. I have an interview at the oconomowoc post office tomorrow. so that's kind of fun. I'm starting on my third beer, and still eating pretzels with cheez. So it'll be interesting to see what happens after that.