campfire smoke A wave of gnats off the lake before the rain; first it rains bugs then the water comes Abs tight from kayaking Bereft having heard at the last minute of the dispersal of yet another soccer team A tiny ice cube sized illusion melting away Party at a rich dudes house Then come home and face my inadequacies, and not think about People with perfect teeth who get braces anyway People for whom a rec dept team just isn't serious enough and awesome enough anymore, it was fun but you can't go where we're going, hope you enjoyed your brief moment of everybody pretending you were one of us for a little while, have fun going nowhere and being nothing along with the busted trash cans alongside the dusty boring road you live on that's not next to a lake I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, this is all just my own shit, fuck the fucking poet game, all I've got to do is get up tomorrow morning and choose not to avoid a couple of key things, and then I've got to do that every single stinking day of the rest of my asinine life, before I drop among the rain-pissed ashes of the campfire I helped make at the rich dude’s house All I've got to do is somehow get the energy and brain focus together to just at least a couple times a day not not do the next right thing IM REGULATING WITH CRACKERS AND BEER AND CHEESE AND TV I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT THAT IS MY LITTLE THING RIGHT NOW, YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO PROMISE YOU WONT DO IT YOU JUST HAVE TO PROMISE YOU WILL COME CLEAN AND SAY IT AND RECOGNIZE IT AND OWN IT\*\*