went to racine (i kind of like racine) to take the post office test, and i ONLY got a 82.6, mostly i'm pretty sure because of the memory part, but this guy on the Internet says that means I would have a pretty good shot if I had a good interview, so that's cool I guess, but still. Here's the thing: I know how my memory works. I am really good at letting things work and mull and process in the background, and I usually couldn't even tell you what it's all doing in there, under there, it's like germinating or some shit, and I've gotten actually kind of good at knowing when it's time to look at it and see that something has emerged and I've figured something out or made some kind of decision, and if that's not the kind of processing that the PO job would really require, then maybe it's OK if I don't get it. Or maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. Speaking of letting things mull, tomorrow I have to talk to the school about the stuff that's been going on with Megan and that fucked up boy. And I'll have been figuring out how to approach it this whole time, even though I don't have all the answers now. And because I've learned that about myself, I'm not freaking out about the uncertainty, like I might have in the past, and so therefore I'm not going without even noticing it into avoidance or defiance mode, like I might have in the past. (2015)