I just don't want Megan to make relationship decisions based on anger, and capricious self esteem, and demonizing and whatever its sinister sweet opposite is. it's totally right for her to be burgeoning out into the "violence" of sexual intelligence and independence and adventure. I'm all for that, as all for that as a dumb dad can be. it's just I want her to stay strong and not lose herself and not get taken advantage of--any more than she really wants to get, I guess. A lot of it is just the "I don't want to be the innocent little girl anymore" vibe—I'm just like, oh, oh, god, are you sure? Because if you don't, that means you're leaving, and that means some part of me is one more irrevocable step towards alone. Seeing nostalgia happen as it happens is particularly cruel. and she's going to be who she is. there's only so much I can do about that. thank God.( But there are some things—little big things—the small stuff off everyday, uncool love) and I'm going to enjoy life and finding stuff out no matter what. and you gotta separate tensing up over what people think from what you really think and care about. and you can care without having to put on a show of trying to be in control. I'm so done letting other people's problems be my entire life, yes *even if it's my own kids.* and if you think that means I don't care, then you don't understand what I've been through. (2016)