ok the little part in the back of my mind was right: she says when she started screaming, she wasn’t really thinking anymore she said when she says i yell at her all the time, what she really means is that she yells at herself. she’s sad and fighting to care about life. she’s afraid she’ll never be a good enough sister, friend, person.... afraid of not getting good enough grades, not getting to keep doing art and go to a art school disillusioned about meds doesn’t want to make her friends sad feels bad cuz millie’s been on her about being a slob too; “when you’re sad all the time you stop caring” in short, we talked; i didn’t fuck that part up--figured out a way to start talking about the parts i didn’t understand, framed them from my perspective not accusingly, etc. that’s a good thing at least. (2017)