two straight hours of playing drums & percussion... ...with other people, actual adults. Things I made tonight: – a decision – an effort – mistakes – music – progress Damn, that was fun. Can’t wait till next time. Things I was learning that I hadn’t realized I was learning: - how to listen and also speak up sometimes - how to forget yourself enough in the rhythm to spontaneously dance in front of strangers - THE POWER OF BEING YOURSELF--what that actually means - musicianship - how freeing it is to finally embrace the fact that for years you thought you had to be perfect and golden even though your dirty secret was that you weren't, and so you rarely ventured beyond a certain level of translucency so no one would know--and now, after all these years, to start noticing that, and deciding to push that slider up a little and get vibrant and vulnerable with your so-so self Damn, my hands hurt. FUCKING AWESOME. And Tom gave me little green egg shaker. It's probably no mere coincidence that this night happened the day after I had another one of those dreams where *she's* back--the wretched, sunken feeling--the profound relief when I wake up... I woke up a little extra today.