my life is meaningless but not; having surrendered I'm still grasping; I can't go to sleep but I'm exhausted; this energy I feel itching within feels like a betrayal; I feel my very face is an insult to humanity when I have nothing in particular to offer, and the venues through which I might find a conduit for some kind of commerce nevertheless, seem artificial. i don't know what I'm here for, or why I'm supposed to care. I feel dumb. (2015)