I have identified as bisexual for most of my adult life--ever since, in my twenties, I finally gave myself permission to be a shade of gray. My first, closest gay neighbor experience was my first semester in college. My roommate in the dorm was unabashedly gay. We were friends. We skipped classes, listened to each other’s stories, drank—just like everyone else around us. There were occasional taunts and threats. Sometimes he would wake both of us with nightmares about getting beat up. I like to think I was a good roommate. Since then I have had relationships with men and women. That I fell in love with and married a woman is no reason for people to make assumptions about who I am and everything I feel. Likewise, I try not to make those assumptions about other people. I would like everyone to be free to explore their own unique identities, even if they don’t fit within a tidy demographic. As Pat (now Patrick) Califia said, “There are always more than two choices. Always. Always. Always.”