Megan got all A’s and A+’s on her report card. is making an OM costume by draping a purple batik/tie-dye fabric thingy has troubles with OM team but is doing her best to keep steady we had a long talk about practice (sax) Celi wants to do a lot of stuff for herself (eg getting the cereal bowls & milk out) had hearing test, will have speech eval Libby knew & came up with the word “symmetry” when Millie was quizzing her about butterflies’ wings taught me and celi her math fact family thing used to have tantrums, doesn’t very often now very level-headed, also funny Millie is entering “I Survived” story contest (include) types and reads a LOT, wants to be a book critic Meg & Mil can be best friends and also volatile quarrellers Celi kinda idolizes Libby, they sleep together often they built a 10-ft-tall snowman we’re stir crazy minecraft, etc writing, photos, futurama, i have gotten to know them better and relate better ------------------ can’t quite bring myself to apologize general consensus “out here” is that you shouldn’t have been entitled to make any demands at all i signed it mostly out of expediency, not because i wholeheartedly agreed with it; nevertheless, psychological risk; avoidance safer; also weirdly perfectionism But 14 (12? what) years is a long time, and no communication doesn’t feel like the right answer for me, either; willing to go with it and see how it evolves, ok with not knowing curious how you think “line of communication” will help you sometimes have a sense that someday [people] will look back at prolonged incarceration as a response to a case like yours, and find it naive, barbarian, bizarre, primitive. Not sure. What do you think? DO you feel justice is being done? Reparation? Rehabilitation? Do you feel wronged? Penitent? What DO you think you did and what DO you think the result should have been? Don’t know about encouraging them to write, although I haven’t found it necessary to withhold any letters (in either direction) and I do not discourage them from writing. interesting about the dialectic stuff (review) I’m trying to address my own issues too around social, work, money, esteem, being present, why no letters? i only agreed out of expediency. most of us felt that your being granted the power to make demands and have them met was preposterous. yet i feel an obligation because i did sign the thing. at the end of the day, there's a long list of things i need to find the will power to get done. it's not easy, and writing a letter to the person associated with the greatest betrayal and trauma of my life so far (and i hope ever) tends to pretty easily get bumped down the list. i just honestly don't have the energy most days.