101811 My hatred overwhelmed my guilt enough to keep me awake; went to watch Netflix and was redirected to a mundanely satisfying exchange with a customer service rep. Sounds, nature, society; new respect for normalcy tempered with regret? caution? Everybody so grandiose about their little fetishes. But some are actual demons; some lead to actual death. Not the little death, the real one. Some fantasies really shouldn’t come true, but if you’ve found their path, it may be too late to stop, unless something stops you like rollerskating into a car) It’s all too easy yet. The conclusions. The revelations. She’s playing contrite and rueful; I don’t believe it. I don’t believe my own epiphanes, either. 102111 I miss the smell of pussy. and the sting of defeat and the comfort of the couch