August 1, 2008 I got a new heart today. It thinks differently. August 2, 2008 New old new old new: Upstairs at Rochambo for the first time in a long time; first time ever with the MacBook (for what that’s worth). I hear a small child downstairs whining about something. Before I might have tagged it annoying; now I tag it sympathetic. Honestly, it feels a little fake being here (but what did I expect?). Brady Street on the whole feels less magical than, you know, it used to. Even the sidewalk smell of someone grilling something didn’t make me think “City!” It just made me think “Charcoal.” Maybe it would be better stoned, but somehow I don’t think so. It’s funny. For all my complaints of not having time alone, blah blah blah--the truth is, most things are better with the kids. And that’s one of the reasons I love it when they all go to Minnesota and leave me here. You know what’s more palpitating than {pretending to be (being)} gay? I am a sissy, dorky, weak, wimpy, pale, flabby, balding, piss sucking, shit eating mouse of a man. I don’t know too many of those. Do you? Anyway, it’s hard to have an intelligent conversation when you’re wearing an invisible cock ring. And you know what’s the best part? I pretend that it’s okay to do it because she likes it--or, at least tolerates it--or-- But it’s no use. You can’t wait to find out. You can’t resist it, and by extension, her. You will grovel again. How long before even that cock ring can’t get you hard, old man? You better find her a big, sweaty man to crawl up on top of her and fuck her. White bitch. Slave. Nigger. Is that why you can’t wait more than two thrusts to come, bitch? You want her to know how pathetic you are. There’s a reason these are the cliches. You pretty much only need two things: an expanding universe, and, at least, at minimum, a pair of pants. If you have a pair of pants, you can pretty much get everything else you might need. August 3, 2008 If it’s not poetry, I don’t want to listen to it. Funny thing about that; it can’t help being a mantra, and thus is doomed to ridiculousness. Also, it’s inversion doesn’t really prove anything. I might end up listening to nothing, or to everything. In any case, here’s the corollaries: a) Music is poetry. b) Anything my kids say or do is, by virtue of childhood and parenthood, poetry. c) Pornography is probably not poetry, but come on. I’m only human. It’s a very weak man who has to yell at his kids. It’s time to become a true scholar of their particular poetry. Is it possible to be an essayist and not sound gay? Does it matter? Is it possible not to be paranoid? Does it matter? August 5, 2008 When I look at , I am looking at myself. It’s not the equipment, it’s the abandon. Welcome to the new Victorian age. I will say that the two prospects which I approached with passion were the most responsive two. “Capoeira has values that ... are universal values.” Nestor Capoeira and Acordeon are on the freakin radio, man. August 7, 2008 Old computers are slower than new computers. Okay, we get it. Speed is not the only vital quality, you know. Okay, look. You can’t go back and be the twink. You can look back, and be absolutely astonished that the twink was you. But you can’t just be him again. It doesn’t work that way. Or so they say. But anyway. You can be who the twink grows up to be. The genius of the merely competent lies in collaboration. Gosh lusteth an affable lender. If a little bit of something helps, doesn’t it make sense that a lot more of it would help a lot more? It’s time to pour on the love. Someone just unleased a wild pack of Well-fuck-it,-this-is-who-I-am.’s on Npydyuan. MORE LATER. I want a mechanic/engineer who’s not afraid to say I don’t know. Check this out: “Any kind of persuasive technique can be used for good or for evil, and no matter what others may do with it, Fogg is trying to use his captological powers for good. Last year, he started teaching a course he calls Peace Innovation. The core idea is to try to "invent peace" through persuasive technology.” See how the effulgence of the language makes you want to believe it’s all “good?” August 8, 2008 A cloud is not necessarily something that grows only bigger. August 12, 2008 I’m a dirty whore, in a dirty world.... Gotta me more careful about revealing my political stance. People don’t want to be sucked by politics. Well, some of them do. August 13, 2008 Another reason marrying a whore is a good idea: you’re with all the time, for free, someone other people would pay money to be with for a moment. I love how NWP picks the second line, if there is one, to auto-title. August 28, 2008 Higher education, as often as not, comprises learning how to lie socially. The uneducated often don’t know how to self-deceive for political safety, and as such are less likely to be confined by the gilded cage of propriety. This is why we pay them less money. We envy their freedom. August 28, 2008 it make s a cool hard spinning ring come down around your physical reality and break into it, leaving a typing filibuster instead I hate it don’t ever do it it’s not like you’re 12 or anthing it’sn ot like you’re a workld traveller or time traveller or anything, it kjist makes you stupid. fuck this get some exewciase instead it’s stupidf you idiot makes it hard to type and everythign get a little bit yellow they yellow green of yesterday so what i could do that wiht a fucking vegetable you fucking moron sweaty tired dumb bitch do something less effective you idiot get some sleep drink some water just don’t fucking waste your dum,b ass time doing this you idiot.