any one can be some body’s fool. Look at me. I once was a fool for you. 040306 So you know it’s true. . . . Queen of the Cockshots. Princess of Dicks. Knave of Toes. Get your kicks with Every Deck has a Moment and Every Moment has a Deck. I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY want to smoke right now. It’s a slow, rainy day & I’m all alone at work just lookin at pix of big powerful women and typing strange characters and searching for the lost soul of the intellectual semiarid subtropical dangerland. Kci, I wanna smo!ke She talks of tobacco as the terminally faithful talk of adultery. Languorously she reels in a tarry haze of her own description: She looks comfortable holding a smoke; as if the deadly venom were natural to her incisive mouth. * I think it’s very interesting that the capoeirabatuque.org of amen santo no longer has any links to other groups (incl. Milwaukee). Darling, she said. I’m sorry I’m a man. That’s okay, he said. I can still fuck you. What was happening, for instance, on November 9, 2000? Oh, a lot of stuff and nutting. The sun was park-bench green & stuck in the sky like a needle in a hot pink heart. Tentative bonds are the best & the worst, that’s for sure. I said of HER that she needs something to implode her head; to show that her little world isn’t the universe. I need that same service. _ps: that was capoeira._ Mon, Apr. 25th, 2005, 10:00 am oh man! oh man! im at work at the esl office right now and i just got a phone call. . .it was the most mest up thing in the world. he calls and is asking me why it is called english as a second language. it shouldnt be because english is first. "you look on tv and ronald regan doesnt speak polish. i listen to the radio and i hear english, i watch tv and it is in english, it shouldnt be called english as a second language!" so i try to explain it to him. "sir, when students come from different contries they dont speak english. . ." he cuts me off and says "no, english is first! u dont hear on tv other languages. . ." and he pretty much repeated himself. so if u know me, u know that i dont take shit like that. so i said "just listen to me, aight?" i broke it down nice and slow. "when students from other countries come here, they dont speak english and english is THEIR second language." and he goes "no! AMERICA is first! they need to learn in a school!" and i said "well, they will learn english in our ENLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE program, and this is a school where they are learning." and he got all mad and hung up on me...very fun Current Mood: annoyed Link Leave a comment | 2 comments Feel guilty about hurting Shane’s feelings, or wank off? Repeat. Tryin’ the bethesda buffet. Several birds will die of spillage before the unctuary begins. in earnest Oh how the snoke used to tear up the five-minute silence; make it a jet-roar of perpetual white-water, suntan-oiled and laid back on a fat, slick, hard, wet rock. Oh how I forgot everything but the snoke. I’m considering not giving myself permission, but does that mean I’m a slave or merely that I’m pretending to be one. And once again, how many times do I have to tell you, it’s the same. Thing. But it’s no fun even talking about it until i start stroking. i’m wanking while talking to idnapuss, and he don’t even know it and this is the big tower slash lobby slash atrium slash solarium. It has a WATERFALL. You can check out a hotel room down here at this end, and then catch a fly to your floor. Arcing invisibly, impossibly across the empty chasm, you gaze about you at the unimagineable opulence of tru innocence. When you were young, a dead fly was just a dead fly. 040406 Sometimes I just get this rush of feeling that she’s lying to me about so many things! Distorting my view of how everybody treats her/us. Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? You know what the hardest part is? It’s like, sometimes she’s just not home. I never know when she’s going to be there and when she’s not. 040606 hot dog sauce. sing Ho! for the life of a bear. Would you like to do a few transformations? Npy-dsa is all wet 4 U! 041006 I guess to a pretty large extent, I’m still in the “hall of mirrors” faze. Well, I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I’m sure I’ll visit other fazes at other times. I already do visit them. I just don’t live there. Yet. 041206 o mi god when her green beacon appears i thrust what she’s doing i don’t know (even tho i thought i knew) but it’s working Woah that’s freaky. she discnctd exactly as the tiny alarm went off! 041306 A sesh! A sesh! My fatdom for a sesh! oh yeah. oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh yeah. i should feel guilty but i don’t. i should not feel guilty but i do. fydnson jes died a bloody duck death but he she will be back alive tomorrow it’s almost time to MASTURBATE FURIOUSLY! or, leather-tongued butterfly, how about masturbate curiously? with curls of lace and someone else’s sister’s cheap perfume massssssssss turbate sssssssssss troke the penisssssssss do it now sex just simply isn’t as good as it used to be. it still feels necessary, but not as electrifying. oh well will i celebrate getting old? will i celebrate, getting old? what happens to an old whore? 041406 no matter what you post on your little journal, whiteboy, everybody’s gonna look at you funny if they know you eat shit. And like it. don’t you think it’s about time to be getting back to work? < fiknaduku went away > 041706 veed, how can i do this? how can i function like this? don’t you think it’s time you were getting back to work? don’t you think it’s time you were getting back to work? don’t you think it’s time you were getting back to work? don’t you think it’s time you were getting back to work? don’t you think it’s time you were getting back to work? don’t you think it’s time you were getting back to work? don’t you think it’s time you were getting back to work? don’t you think it’s time you were getting back to work? don’t you think it’s time you were getting back to work? How do I explain this: When she asks, “are we together just because of the kids,” i secretly think, yes. But the invisible part, the subvocal part, the subliminal part, is this: That’s enough. It’s no reflection of a lack in ourselves or in our partnership. It’s like asking, “did we build our town here just because it is next to the spring?” The answer is yes. And there’s nothing wrong with that. We’ve still built a really awesome town. it’s like Celesteville! (only you get to be Celeste) 041806 This Sesh is almost over. I’m hard again, Celeste. Come bathe me with your sluicing trunk. Yes we’re together because of the kids And we’re together because you own me Because I crave the taste of a woman well fucked by another man Because I crave the taste of your Shit 041906 I am left dumb 042006 (Just two more days til my glit falls off) shivering in ecstacy from the first zlan i’ve had since ecterday. i can’t seem to get convicted, though. strive exude euphonia undulate she body ( need transpose message personal, urgent ) nope. still not yet ( sit cafe ) safe place [ expose ( woman ) young calf pale, smooth ] ( thrill ) even if distant! moving toward a more silent kissing (just two more days til my glypneratu nubes!) touching scisz’s denant...! oh, my! Acon? Ceale dd oori snot--thesa measa’s ecre tdoo rtheon esju, stco vere dwi thlea ves. A ndbus heswh; ilet heot herisr enderedv! Ir tua llyin vi, “Sible.” I could say anything I wanted, using that language. The funny thing is, the most naked & nude of my so-called secrets get laid bare in plain old plain old, while the specialized cant gets used for silly mechanics and white noise. Ha! Dat’s! Funny! (Two days before my plancheonette, and already I can feel my perscerveration!) I barely even remember how to smoke, and yet, here I am, doing it, even though I done quitted it already how. Fick! hiding in fragments that means, you’re hiding something among fragments hiding something fragmented hiding, yourself! among the fragments of (well, i guess i’ll go ahead and say it) your fragmented self that’s not platinum, but it is arrestingly blonde... on her way into the cafe, she looks at her wrist. what is it she’s looking for? she’s looking to see what time it is, dumb ass! oh yeah. suddenly this is the cafe where old men come to drink wine and look at young women. I think I’m going to like it here, just fine. Hey, it’s been over an hour and you haven’t even mentioned your guilt! (suddenly...) old men in shorts and michigan t-shirts... chuckle amongst themselves after she leaves. I guess she found out what time it was. genius and the redneck: A Shirt For You To Wear: a spacer’s life is like that Burcurp and Wywil Conaw swore and lit a smoke coyote Dear npy Dear Npydyuan Dude named Biped flex Godnor Icon If suicide is a cry for help If you had an invisibility weed Junkyard outmoded pushed spacer starting to rub together Stroke down The bus driver offered to sell the logo is backlit the old men You just have to put it between Actually the smoke All right I'm done And later I was about to And Thing You Know around Christmas breathe clean air But it wasn’t a dream camped in camper packed Do you want to be free? down into the ravine Edna: Did you ever have something Do you have a fetish? I got a Gravity is too great. You can’t Icon It’s so quiet in here. Are you No, I didn’t mean. I didn’t Would it be okay if we just. Ella: elliptical edges of rocks empty attic, quiet here I live in a tiny plywood Icon Purple, blue, and yellow stupid stupid stupid though not because Ewica: and never will again coffee esriel and her friends Everybody here smells like EverythingAllTheTime good bye old friend Griwa: a dark time and you say Let me in. boys, this is why. Damn! he said. I said Engage your opponent fucking. taxis. rain. Give it away. The best How about the clarinet? I am in hell. i was in the snoke tonight Icon lace-edged the past Maybe we should start my god that's beautiful Right. That's kind of... so i go to the snoke So there's (checking them soon I will be going subtly the truck driver the inside is bigger Then, suddenly, the sink Two grey-haired guys. We did it. It was fun. What's it about? A lot whatever it is, i just want it when i was little Why do you go. words for you. words Yeah... I mean You know what to do. you see that dude's hair? i can function quite well Keep Didnt Ladybug, mayfly, sycamore laziness calls your ghost listen she says lonely but only Looking at this girl meet me at the mall pie hole: and tyrone looks over at him At least tyrone had the good Bang! bang! bang! blowing pot smoke Icon Make Moment man and a woman moonlight the color of trans See She seen it enough for a while: I figured it out last NIGHT say Just three swallows ruby lamp from charcoal secrets in the alley squeem. you really are, aren't you?: stop your ramblin: at the laundromat back in high school bicycle squeaks breaking some laws Cadillac Sedan de Ville fuckin awesome! generation 486 generation 621 how to play football I missed my boys in front of anybody is this a stickup? it always hurts It and Us: Dak Donti Hoolun i still want to Kyttag Pung it's not a manticore knows like a horse marshmallow-stuffed meaningful dialogue meet the superheroes meeting antimatter merrily sad mosquito in a cafe one more hit one rain drop kills itself our deservedness to exist perfect moment perturbed machinery picture of beauty playing violin plush red seats restless at three rocks and chips 2 scribbling furiously so here I am walking so vast his depravity some highway in some state someone in galoshes something inaudibly somewhere near water souldeath callipygian speak your mind standing still starting to suspect step out of the car thank you for having me thanks for the intro the berimbau speaks the centre of the maze the invisible mestre the living room as usual the only reason Tried Said It Said turn everything on you pussy lanimous fool Protein, plain and simple rain drops jumping out rain filled the history of her reduced instruction set rocket rollercoaster bucket sex sex sex she bursts in She said do you think she’s getting impatient Shooting at fish shrouded by two glasses squirrel rasping gently That From A the big indian The floor is cold the key to the out of towner the proprietor just brought the railroad track the world is going to end then Watching people sex we did it it was fun What do you want world Year after year You Egocentric you got the fan You pushed into me You To Go you wish You're at the mall Icon. What else can I say? Why would you come to a cafe just to talk on the phone? Why would you come to a cafe just to look at girls? Why would you come to a cafe just to type on your little computer? Why would you come to a cafe just to smoke? Why would you come to a cafe just to drink coffee? Why would you come to a cafe just to eat pita bread? Why would you come to a cafe just to listen to scuzzy music? Why would you come to a cafe just to avoid doing something else? Why would you come to a cafe just to fill up the time? Why would you come to a cafe just to read your old selves’ shelves? Why would you come to a cafe just to git fancy? Why would you come to a cafe just to shut up? Why would you come to a cafe just to shut up! Why would you come to a cafe just to shut up! Already. DAMN! Not that it matters, but that boy behind the counter avoids looking at me. IS the boy-girl dichotomy really pervasive? or are you simply tired? two little boys, one on the breaking neck of not so little any more, sit in here drinking Orangina and eating Rice Krispie treats. I see the auburn back of the head of their female companion. She could be anywhere from their mother to their psychotic teenaged abductor. How would I know? I’m gonna git git git you drunk.... ok, her face is aged beyond teen. But still.... WHY ARE THEY IN HERE? WHERE ARE THEY GOING? at 45 i’ll start worrying; at 50 i’ll get up and go.... that’s my plan. until tomorrow when everything i have to haul crashes down around my ears like so much broken garbage can. comedy. this is, really, i promise. Wait. It gets better.