030306 beeeeeuuwwww beeeuuuww static horn still want to but ouch neck hurts wish could smoke without feeling like dumb shit oh shit hard ache of ghost of horn dog farts 031206 MY DESIRE to revolutionize is itself an imitation. 031406 what IS “deep thinking,” and how would you distinguish it from either thinking that is not deep, or depth that is not thinking? 031606 Starting today, I really want to stop being such a sow. 032206 The most important thing I have to record right now is: last night, after the bars (kenosha bars--ugh!), after Dan & Sandy & I finally stuffed sweet drunk Rehanna into the passenger seat of her own car, and Sandy settled in to drive her home, Dan checked with me to make sure I was okay to drive (I really was) and then said, “Thanks for being you, Mat. I don’t know if I tell you this enough, but--I really appreciate you.” I barely managed to squirt out a slightly too guy-voiced, “The feeling’s mutual, man” (to which he replied, seemingly with sincerity, “Good”), before he had his keys out and was climbing into that oversized vehicular mantrap he drives. It was really, really, really nice. 032306 The bow and arrow is not a metaphor for the human spirit. The human spirit is a metaphor for the bow and arrow. The physical bow and arrow is what fascinates our fundaments, not the intangible or moral. Or maybe it’s precise to say, the bow and arrow & the human spirit have a metaphoric relationship. They are, in other words, equal. cross-breeding comes from the concealment of names the fact is, genius boy, you’ve been doing a really crappy job at work for quite a while, now Does slop count in bullshit? I mean, if you’re a bullshitter even though you don’t mean to be, do you still get cool points for being a bullshitter? Depends on how you play it. No other game is so morbid as one you’ve assaulted with your intent. People who take themselves too seriously tend to spend a lot of time with people who don’t take themselves seriously enough. 032406 dipole excelsior catapult diptych fornicate formica feldspar renfiki told me to tell you: she’s not your sister tonight. she’s a hot banana streak on the beach in havana she’s a panatella she’s a fella traveller; a diamond in the rough shape of an almond full of sweet sweet oil. sweet sweet baby is sweet baby is only my code name. Now I feel like the blowhard that said, “searching searching (no signal 032806 And you, Captain Smiley Pants: recognize that “it” only serves to remind you how vermiform you have become. How utterly, baldly vermiform. You are a penis. An undulous seventh-grader’s slick, clean prong. Part of my attraction (all?) to Ydnapu is that I don’t completely trust her. As always: drawn to the minionette. Part of my attraction to limited technology is the excuses -- or concealments -- the lower of the tech crannies can provide. All of my attraction to text is pure love. And then some . . . . Occult? Random access. I am aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa starved for content! I am desperate for (wet) (dripping) (cunt) someone to talk to. Getting STONED after each quarter is my can of mandarin oranges. Teaches me things like: still want to dress up for her; still want to explode still want to build cup of legos for bro to drink from. still dog still pullin at the leash still getting a hunka nowhere. let’s mash lips and crush hearts suck spit 032906 “I’m so baked!” she declared. I pulled her by her elbow into the spaceship. “Get the fuck in here!” She rolled in just as the door rolled down, and we slammed into the floor. One thing about being baked is, it always reminds me that i choose to be subservient to her. _because i like it._ because she’s the only one who makes me really feel like silk. back to self-torture: sometimes it’s the only thing i do anymore that really is what it is. what are you avoiding?