Intention Action Consequence Accountability Intention: To feel deeply physically gratified. Action: To have sex with Pam (“have sex with” meaning a variety of different but unmistakable pleasurings). Consequence(s): Possible diseases, possible worrying about diseases, guilt or shame concerning relationship with Anne, possible jeapordizing of the relationship with Anne, guilt or shame concerning sense of using Pam. Accountability: I’m not really sure what this one means, but maybe it would include telling Anne about it if I intend to continue the relationship with Anne as it seems to be going, and also being honest with Pam about my feelings towards her other than sexually (although this one seems like it would have to fall before “Intention” in order to prove fully effective . . . . Intention: To feel spiritually and emotionally safe and sound. Action: Don’t have sex with Pam. Consequences: Sexual frustration, missed opportunity to reinforce in Pam’s mind pleasure associated with me and sex in order to keep her roped in for future use, sexual frustration, sexual frustration, implied agreement to continue with the relationship with Anne despite doubts (which this recent contact with Pam is exacerbating) about our sexual and/or personal compatibility (eg, am I only using her as the woman-of-the-month to boost my self-esteem, without particular regard for her personally? Would this explain why, when Pam, with her tendency toward indulgence and doting adoration, suddenly seems screamingly available, the doubts about Anne rear up as from out of nowhere, despite the fact that Pam’s personality, when we’re not having sex or at least talking sex, leaves me uncomfortable at best?). Accountability: Whaddayamean, I gotta explain why I don’t want to have sex with her? I don’t think so. Maybe this means acting consistently, not toying with her, and maybe it means attempting in some way to answer to the doubts about Anne, whether by talking to Anne, talking to Liz, backing off from Anne, backing off from Pam, or what, I am not exactly sure . . . Try These: Action: to back off from Pam and stick with Anne Action: to back off from Anne and go with Pam Action: to back off from both of ’em! But First: Take a Break and Eat some Rice Meanwhile, an inescapable, irreverent, powerful, racy, juicy, queasy note from the sidelines: All the while I’m sitting here, Pam’s getting closer & closer, and she’s bringing her pussy with her--and I ain’t talkin’ about her cat! (Well, him too, but . . . .) And I can sit here and burn in the groin, knowing full well that if she’s really hot to go I may not choose or “be able” to resist, whether I’ve made up my mind about this stuff or not, or I can masturbate, but a part of me screams, “YES! But do it SOON so you will be recharged by the time she gets here, and in fact probably able to fuck EVEN LONGER THAN NORMAL!!!!”