# 2026-09-24 I need to start keeping the journals again. They’re too valuable and magnetic, when I look back at them I learn things, like listening to a strange but familiar song. Anything, anything at all. Other than pure undifferentiated noise. Any kind of friction makes heat. Any kind of resistance in the current is what’s needed to make music, to make magic. # 2026-09-25 some animals have superhuman senses or strengths that we outsource to technology; they are exotic and mythic to us, familiar yet alien; we admire them and are maybe a bit jealous of them; we model our character traits after them as archetypes or ideals the human that is transient now has mental (and physical) abilities that will atrophy as we offload our minds to AI and whatever else comes next Treasure what we are now, now, for our flirtation with this plane of consciousness is, after all, fleeting familiar yet alien (cf: https://terrytao.wordpress.com/2026/09/24/were-gonna-need-a-lot-more-mathematicians/) # 2026-09-26 When I was a relatively well-off kid in America, we had the threat of nuclear war, automation, offshoring, deindustrialization, trickle-down economics, a plague. my kids now have had a plague and the intensification of most of the other stuff, with the (for a while there it seemed) possible exception of nuclear war, and now — the corporate appropriation and commodification of “intelligence.” Our 70s and 80s stuff seems relatively transient and survivable by contrast. Will my kids be able to look back and say, haha, think about everything we were stressed out about back then, it’s no wonder we turned out like this, where “like this” is basically OK and essentially still mostly unrestrained, essentially still with at least a self-perception of something close to “free”? Or will it be a banal, universal-basic-income stasis — freedom as technicality, no real options because you’re not physically necessary, your *work* is not *needed,* you yourself are not *essential?* (where does new information for this “intelligence” come from though?) # 2026-09-27 dreamed about katy last night she said she loved me and i said really? and cried her boyfriend was dru reeves (lol) and i hugged him too cut to a shot of her sucking his cock as i panned and or zoomed away from the scene; it was oddly satisfying to watch, seemed just right somehow sure, a little jealousy, a little regret, a little feeling, on waking, of essential inadequacy, of its being too late for me to find any further real love — but that’s a misreading of the dream’s message the real message is, it’s today that it’s possible. but not in panic mode — not today or else give up, just simply today i’m going on another road trip the ability to go on trips without drugs, while hanging out in my own backyard or living room, is one of the best superpowers i was ever given, i ever found the ability to go back but with all my current knowledge but not actually go back (stay here instead) is even better here’s the message i’m getting from katy: it’s ok to call the birch tree you just planted “her.” It’s OK to call her “yours.” It’s OK to nurture her and hope she doesn’t die. It’s OK to admit you are trying even though you might fail. It’s OK to care.