1727817886 by all means do something special at 4:20. but you know it doesnt have to be the dumb obvious thing--which inevitably disappoints anyway 1728350894 im not saying ill never smoke or drink again, just saying its not how im gonna brush my teeth also not gonna be my answer to boredom, tension, or loneliness; you either stay there and feel that or else try something else know your toothbrushing problems and your typewriter problems. keep the former as simple as possible but no simpler; dont get too hung up on the latter contrary to cultural belief, you dont always have to stay high, happy, hyped, and hilarious riding the trail, skirting the entirety of the central city why do cities rot on the inside? you dont stalk the fairies; that annoys em and they start giving you the fake shit you gotta let them come to you consider the source but also consider how your opinion of it became what it became instead of “how do i do *x* without alcohol,” how bout “how can i do the *y* that *x* + alcohol was adding up to” ()or “maybe i wanna do *z* instead”) 1728659134 been thinking about what yr teacher said about how we look at the world as obstacles in the way of some hypothetical thing & miss the reality all around us. Think it’s related to: the thing you write isnt the poem; it’s a story about the poem; like the story you tell when you wake up isnt the dream itself “i am a poet” is redundant; you are the poem, so is evryone else and every thing you still have to have a job tho (lol) 1728671056 doesnt matter if yr gay or not if you arent anything (domain specific) 1728705404 poetry is a branch of science https://slimemoldtimemold.com/2022/02/10/the-scientific-virtues/ 1729786272 i used to think “the stoneder i got, the gayer i got” and that was one of the draws. ironically, that pattern was drawing me farther away from my true north. sometimes you have to go farther away from the fire to get to the fire. my real gay self is cleaner, brighter, freer, more open to human contact (transcending gendered expectations), and doesnt need to be chemically cudgelled into compliance