051722 Isn’t it an amazing coincidence that the purchase that’s going to bring your creative soul to life is ALWAYS the thing that gets good reviews that contradict the dumb wrong reviews that say it isn’t good enough, and is also JUST above the price range you originally had in mind? Maybe it’s not a coincidence. Maybe you’re an idiotic man-child. I gave Cel a phone and she turned into a teenager overnight. That’s not exactly true. Libby ran upstairs after her one night a couple weeks ago while we were all watching Tv, saying “I’m gonna go help Cel, I’ll be back,” and *that’s* when she turned into a teenager, and a few days later she finally outright asked for a phone in earnest, and now she’s a teenager. But if you tweak the focus a little bit and stand 052722 greed and gluttony and self importance are making me sad 052322 only the brave deserve the fair not taking pictures of things but making pictures with light (but you can take a picture if a thing of you want to, wtf do i know) #cw find your themes everywhere; let them find you; only the brave deserve the fair; make yourself visible to them; let them be visible to you; you could write a whole book on this, for instance: birds: i’ve heard it said and said it myself: “the males are prettier” but really they’re flashier. shut up and remember this: be honest stop being cooler than everyone let it show when something upsets you as long as it’s safe to do so says a voice and you’re like you there voice come here we need to talk. now you’ve found the first character if you can play you can be a mestre there is no other measure 052722 for nancy: you pick which ones stay and which ones go and which ones change in return you get a percentage of whatever money it makes (for example, 50% of zero) and a dedication for AVID. WE meet. we discuss. we try some things maybe but nothing forced or fake each week we all share what our assignment is going to be. next week report back. repeat. no running grades in blackboard slots. at end, discuss what the grades should be. or each week in class. until you have jumped in and joined us, your assignment is automatically “jump in and join us—in some way.” my primary job as teacher is to help them pick the right assignments but not to force the issue either. mutual respect you are supported by the curriculum but not limited to it verbatim one class, two teachers—a 9-10 and a 11-12 if you like but they all meet together parenting is easy as long as they still think youre funny as soon as they stop being even secretly amused at your jokes, you know you’re in trouble gay: it’s not about fucking, it’s about being yourself it’s not what anatomy you got its what you’re willing to trust another human being to do with it that counts THE PROBLEM ISN’T THE TECHNOLOGY—IT’S WHO GETS TO CONTROL IT—EITHER EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE IT, OR NO ONE SHOULD 053022 we’re like oh the other side they’re not stupid, they’ve just been sold a devastating pack of lies but what if it is our side who have been sold the lies we need to find common ground so as to be able to work together to figure out who’s been sold what by whom if he can’t persuade you by honesty and a little charm, then of what importance is his tawdry gift basket of power can you change your habits? what about your obsessions? your intelligence? your ability to apply your intelligence? do people get driven to do things because of innate talent or do they get more talented because they are driven to keep at it? or is that skill? where does the drive come from? if you can identify your obsessions then what else do you have to do to turn them into sobering useful or lucrative or gratifying? what makes you give up and get distracted? can that be reversed? or does giving up just mean that you were never that gifted in the first place? is that the definition of gifted: innate ability makes exploration more magnetic which leads to further exploration which leads to greater skill and application? so is it hopeless if you haven’t already accomplished something that meets whatever standards you’re using for this? or is that just the american dragon in your ear? what IS important? to whom? who gets to decide? why do you care about any of this? is there any way out of might is right and the empirical reality of meritocracy? does this sum up to “quit complaining and do the best you can with what you have”? and if that doesn’t feel like enough, isn’t that why people give up? and then what do we do with them? what is the best function of society and community in changing the answers to some of these questions? or even finding more and possibly more useful questions? and can i stop eating and drinking so much and constantly feeling fogged and sick futile useless pathetic dumb get a better job by actually doing some work people need by being just one iota less utterly replaceable and generic i bought the lie let myself become a resume like the rest of “america” let myself become a device sold myself to the hyperefficient sanitized white background soothing voice of the cleanest safest most efficient corporation in the known universe how do i claw and dig my way out is there anything left out there anyway worth clawing towards god damn i feel old i feel like i could break out and break in, get out of being a zombie/prisoner/cipher/slave but i’m scared. i got such a bad habit of giving up and crying and complaining and blaming everyone else. i got other habits too that are hard to break so that doesn’t exactly inspire confidence i can break this one. but what do i have to lose except my kids’ health and future, my own slim margin of comfort such as it is, and basically everything it’s taken me the last 11 years to accumulate, namely a slight but relatively significant sense of security that honestly is it fucking fucking fucking tenuous how do i make saying “i’m done with apple, i’m buying a framework laptop” not be a substitution for real change, not be just another purchase basically a voice in my head keeps saying i’m not smart enough young enough disciplined enough or talented enough to have an authentic stimulating genuinely interesting non-pointless job and still pay the bills. what do i do about that voice? as long as i majority believe it, there’s no point wasting thought cycles on any of this > There are other subpoenas also being stonewalled. The committee subpoenaed Representatives McCarthy, Jordan, Andy Biggs (R-AZ), Scott Perry (R-PA), and Mo Brooks (R-AL) earlier this month. Their responses are coming in now, and they indicate that these members of Congress continue to reject the legitimacy of the committee. What i don’t understand is why the cops don’t go and drag these motherfuckers into court like they would me if i said no thanks i don’t want to be investigated. what the motherfucking fuck. kill them all.