With you guys, I’m never the asshole on purpose, but I know I’m sometimes the asshole i wonder if the kid that wrote about the lawn mowers throwing dirt into the sky remembers every now and then that i said his sentences were pure poetry? #ham That eSession with Carol o brain exploding is basically why ethos matters. That’s a better show of it than always just the guy in the lab coat FOR LITERARY ANALYSIS: starting on p. 100 of dorothea brande:* “read at least one of the following, and then...” #HAM (Post)modernism: Not just “disorder” but classical representation isn’t capable of expressing the horror shock loss etc. And that opens creativity up in all directions Look up what Germans call zero hour. Fresh starts are scary and exciting and unknowable But culture has to matter to everyday people for this to matter. Economic opportunity increases likelihood of that. Aka freedom Rewrite the “complexities” part of the HAM declaration assignment to genuinely be about complexities. > Origin stories—whether mythological or scientific—are always constructed and framed to make the cultural conventions of the present seem immutable and unassailable. —hey that’s a damn interesting point #seshnotes It’s not “I should have” or “you should,” it’s “what if we…?” What if I had said instead, “I see we have Pink Among Us, welcome, welcome…!”? THIS IS IMPORTANT: citations, and using your research, AREN’T JUST FOR “PROVING” THINGS. They are NOT JUST “EVIDENCE!” They are to show what you learned, what got you thinking, what seems to be related that you’re trying to figure out, clues, what other people have had to say about what you’re talking about, etc. Maybe part of the problem is insisting on declaring a “thesis statement” early on in the process, to dictate the entire structure of the resulting narrative. Maybe not every narrative needs to be coercively, premeditatively shaped that particular way. #1 RULE OF ASSESSMENTS: YOU SHOULD GET SOMETHING OUT OF DOING THE ASSIGNMENT BESIDES JUST MY FEEDBACK > The biggest difference between the economy of the 1945-1973 period and that of the 1982-2000 period was that the same amount of growth found its way into totally different pockets. https://www.collaborativefund.com/blog/how-this-all-happened/ > Tax cuts over the last 20 years have predominantly gone to those with higher incomes. People with higher incomes send their kids to the best colleges. Those kids can go on to earn higher incomes and invest in corporate debt that will be backstopped by the Fed, own stocks that will be supported by various government policies, and so on. > No matter who you are, there's a casino game for you. But as with every casino, the only way to win is to own the casino, not to play the games. - https://pluralistic.net/2021/12/01/satyajit-das/#fintech a vaguely monopoly-esque game factors that influence whether a major arcanum will join you: - wealth - reputation - charm - guilt - loyalty (to the player who already has them (if applicable)) All of the above influenced by what arcana you already have and what exploits you’ve done. There is always an element of chance too though. The minor arcana are how you interact with the four kingdoms and do your exploits. When it’s your turn to draw one, you conjure (which is essentially a form of impromptu storytelling that weaves into what’s already happened in the game so far) The different arcana have different ‘powers’ of course. You may roll dice to go around the board, and perhaps the board is separated into suits/kingdoms kinda like monopoly’s ascending ‘neighborhoods’? Perhaps you draw from the suit of the neighborhood you’re in? But there can be exceptions because people can be traveling? Hmm... Or you still draw randomly from all the minor arcana and whichever of the major haven’t joined anyone yet Sort of a reverse-reading motif; instead of draw the card and that tells you what to think, you are thinking something and then you draw the card and put that thought in there, thus building up the ‘meanings’ of the cards from scratch and your subconscious and blah blah blah... And it’s not even necessarily thinking, like all beta waves and gamma waves and shit; you know what I mean. Just the little subtext animals. Therefore the fragment length, the train’s continuity, can be as short or long as it wants or needs to be. *** What hasn’t changed: - household chores - helping around kitchen?? - tension and resentment - she blew up at them and they don’t want to have anything to do with her, ostensibly because she just never said anything else about it, it’s unresolved, she acts like everything is just normal - but they and maybe i prior to all this were sometimes exlusionary and bitchy with her as well; misunderstanding, not gelling easily, awkwardness, resentment, why? they’ll agree with each other and riff off each other over the silliest things, but then almost reflexively counter, deny, oppse, block, or quietly rebuke many if not most of her attempts to join in, why? cynicism is a synonym for laziness – Rutger Bregman on SWAY dec 6 2021 http://nytimes.com/sway > Herodotus tells a story (repeated by Aristotle and Livy) of Periander, who on becoming tyrant of Corinth sent a messenger to Thrasybulus, the successful tyrant of Miletus. Periander’s messenger asked Thrasybulus’ advice on how best to rule a city; Thrasybulus, knowing he couldn’t speak openly, led the messenger outside of the town into a field of grain. Instead of answering the question, he moved through the field, cutting down the tallest ears of wheat until the entire field was leveled down to the worst plants. The messenger departed confused, but Periander understood the message perfectly: To survive, a tyrant must destroy all of the outstanding citizens of the state, those distinguished by either wealth or ability. Periander promptly set about using his position to butcher the best and brightest of Corinth and in so doing secured his reign for the rest of his life. https://www.thebulwark.com/ancient-insurrections-and-ours/ December 9, 2021 why make your special ed teacher ask me if there’s any audio or text to direct resources for understanding “british dialect”? why didn’t you just ask me? plus do you even know what any of the resources are in the actual class? have you even tried to look at what i have linked in there every single week? did you ever come to a single fucking class? god i’m so sick of how fucking helpless kids are all the goddamn time. like just blind and dumb and lazy as fuck. how are you going to survive on your own?? teaching high school feels like teaching fucking fucking fucking kindergarten god it’s exhausting and demoralizing oh shut up and quit complaining about your cushy job you whiny bitch 121121 my favorite drink is whatever’s left the best thing about winter is spring drum first that’s the only rule “if you get lost, you can always come back to this” - mark but dude you need to get over the heart thing if it’s the perfect transition into what you were going to do, don’t stop and explain it, just go on and let it happen if you start a circular thing, even if it feels like it’s bombing, finish it at least so everyone gets to go if the kids are raring to go just keep it going. stop stopping so much to explain stuff. do like dexter did at tess corners that one day don’t ask questions to get them to say what you want them to say , ask questions to hear what they have to say it’s feeling way too much like school in here, cuz he’s playing (down) to the kids but the kids are already way more ready to go than the adults also you’re not going to get repeat customers (except the social retards like me) if you keep teaching the same lesson every time. Layer in stuff for raw beginners, but build on it from month with new stuff so that anyone who does come back isn’t having to sit through the godawful interminable heartbeat and mama papa AGAIN. > It’s also a strategy. Michael Schulman touches on this in his interview with Brooks: You have some wonderful stories of basically getting away with stuff at the studios. I’d learned one very simple trick: say yes. Simply say yes. Like Joseph E. Levine, on “The Producers,” said, “The curly-haired guy—he’s funny looking. Fire him.” He wanted me to fire Gene Wilder. And I said, “Yes, he’s gone. I’m firing him.” I never did. But he forgot. After the screening of “Blazing Saddles,” the head of Warner Bros. threw me into the manager’s office, gave me a legal pad and a pencil, and gave me maybe twenty notes. He would have changed “Blazing Saddles” from a daring, funny, crazy picture to a stultified, dull, dusty old Western. He said, “No farting.” I said, “It’s out”… You say yes, and you never do it. That’s great advice for life. It is. Don’t fight them. Don’t waste your time struggling with them and trying to make sense to them. They’ll never understand. https://kottke.org/21/12/mel-brooks-at-95 121321 it’s not necessarily about credentials it’s not about success, it’s about need and desire and fun don’t preach about success if you haven’t had that kind of success yourself do do what you can, help if you can for me, it’s the words, what i’ve called “writing”— what i’ve learned is, it has to be plugged into other people to be alive; who are those other people? intuition tells me they could be, can be—are—all around me, anywhere, although paradoxically i may have to undertake some kind of journey in order to find them, join them, pass whatever tests they have, and then live among them until i am used up and good and dead That’s my current “mid”life crisis, in a nut Oh and did I mention, sometimes the people are already right with you, right where you are, and you are already living among them. 121621 I figured out what “of a certain age” means. It’s the age at which you begin to calculate *will I be there for that?* when your kids talk haphazardly, spontaneously, about stuff they’re going to see or do someday. 122421 why do megan’s boyfriends generally not know how (or care) to be respectful with their girlfriend’s dad? like this richie rich Nick character, I don’t care if you are Debbie Gibson’s nephew and have a room full of keyboards, you don’t say “Let me have a word with Matthew” while she’s on the phone with me, as if you and I are equals and I’m some kind of fucking joke to you. Fuck that, and fuck you. Do they not teach you how to be act even a little bit properly deferential to your elders in that fucking overpriced charm school that you can easily afford to fuck off in while Megan will be enslaved to debt for the rest of her life pretending like she belongs there? Fuck that. And fuck. You. Anyway, the rest of us here in boring old grief-bedecked Cape watched Encanto, and it’s about the lack of a gift being the gift. It’s about Ivy from Xanth. It’s about Wayne from the bookstore. It’s about doing the best you can with what you have to work with and being willing to be a fool because you care about your family. That is all. Not bad, not bad. Cheesy as fuck and the main characters didn’t have accents like the abuela and stuff and Miranda had his sing songy paws all over the soundtrack, but yeah, whatever, it was ok. 122521 73° and sunny in Cape. canada geese sunning themselves on the north east bank of little bear. what used to be sautel port. lib and cel climbed a pine tree at cherokee. lib needs help with the cheesecake topping, gotta go mom just burst into tears while (i think) about to ask don for the big fork to transfer the spiral ham from the wrapper to the pan lined with foil the windows are open and it feels like spring while we play sorry and uno; birds and crickets and people are making springlike noises and the coolness on the edge of the breeze is fragrant with memories of anticipated warmth 122621 cel on antibiotics to treat that weirdly persistent canker sore, from mom’s scrip she didn’t use so we wouldn’t have to wait 2 hrs at clinic and pay out of pocket because we’re not in WI. Watched all the shows with mom, Lib & cel waiting patiently thru all the travel shows lololol so they can watch lost in space. But the James Herriot pbs series was good. Good old fashioned love and old people and animals and rich old houses with parquet floors and rugs and stables and a tiny glass of what was it sloe gin? for the dowdy older brother who had to play santa claus. main character and the woman he loves who’s getting married tomorrow (to someone else obvs) got stuck in the high dales in a fog at the old people’s house, the old people who love each other and all that, and he sitll loves her but won’t come out with it because she’s getting married tomorrow (to someone else obvs) and they look at each other and there’s the dog with her new pups and all that, and i remember what it’s like to ache with love like that, but it is a memory. Not a present thing. Weird, huh? but there’s still something in there, but it’s a something that appreciates a show like this even though the thing, my thing, isn’t that. Exactly. It’s something adjacent. But I feel old. i can’t imagine how that sore could hurt as much as cel acts like it does, but maybe it does. hope to god the antibiotics work. a thing i like better about the vet show than lost in space: the former can have full drama out of a dog trying to have a puppy, doesn’t need space and loud as fuck special effects and constant death defying and hypertrophied plot twists and a gratingly “complex” antagonist continuously upping the shock ante and every line is so boorishly epic omfg 122721 “Why do fucking clothes just get smaller and smaller!?” and slams the wadded up shirt onto the bed and the boys in front of the bus were singin, *I move my bottom...* overheard two squirrels talking at conservation center park, by the maple loop where the osage oranges decorate the bridge: “we went to jeri’s cuz he had white acorns; sharoo just had red acorns” 122921 In response to “Can you guys do the dishes?”, “Can you?” is not what you want to hear from your two youngest kids. wtf? We made burritos. Mom didn’t know what to do with herself when she wasn’t doing all the work. Nancy came in when dropping off lib and cel after she and bailey took them to the trampoline place. She blurted out, “Jo Anne, you said something the other day that has been bugging me... you said you didn’t have anyone to take care of you... you know, I’m here whenever you need anything. Just call me. Or Bailey. I mean, we have to work of course, but....” And mom just said “OK.” and then went back to talking with me about how to make the spanish rice. Yeah, she’s still real upset about the whole Nancy going to a lawyer to talk about the inheritance thing. That was super awkward, and Nancy just kind of smiled through it. I made talking noises to fill in some of the horrible blank seconds. I feel kind of obligated to connect more with Nancy, but...?