finding it hard to resist trying to prove you’re more than a man is one of the symptoms of being just a man listening to cel narrate her every action in minecraft forms a kind of poetry. Terse declarative narrative punctuated by casual commentary; something about it is like writing their own movie onto the screen, big banging a little universe into expansion, building a bridge where the plank you need to step on next appears before you just in time lib says cats keep away creepers. cel says yeah but sometimes they don’t even work Guilt is slippery, like stress, whiskey, or fire; a little bit is enough to get the job done. Sometimes you don’t realize you’ve had too much until you look back at the damage 051221 Speaking of guilt, I should absolutely not have blown FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY AMERICAN DOLLARS on these fucking Airpods Max, but—they are fucking amazing. Only headphones I have or remember trying where the bass sounds/feels like bass. Not to mention the rest of the sound is open, clean, and warm. ...is what I would put in my journal if I didn’t know it wasn’t just me reeling from the after-effects of another foolish purchase. Check it—the gimmicky vocab that makes me seem like someone who really would benefit from [the whatever it is this time](), the ingenuous self-recrimination. It’s marketing bullshit, created by relentless years of breathing in the stuff, refined by my own dumb brain into the most perfect signal for the target audience—myself. Fuck me. 052121 Dear words, I miss you. I miss the solid, vacant, slowly oscillating, nth-dimensional space we used to drift thru, orbiting *something* unhurriedly. “We explore the totalitarian society Hitler built, and see the consequences: genocide and total war. Learning from Germany’s fascist story, we can recognize that hateful ideology as well as the tricks of wannabe dictators in our own age.” - https://www.openculture.com/2021/05/rick-steves-tells-the-story-of-fascisms-rise-fall-in-germany.html “It’s such a thing seeing people’s chip on their shoulders. Entire political spectrums just cannot be wrong. They’ll build a whole house of cards on needing to be right. It’s such a prison but also just from being in relationships and experiencing people who cannot be wrong — that’s an awful, terrible way to live. If they only knew how easy and wonderful it is. It makes people feel good, you know?” – sarah silverman 052521 We all basically turn into drag queens as we get older. Powders creams pills inserts and illusions of all descriptions. No one is fooled. Sense of humor essential; bitterness inevitable? Or optional? Can it too be transformed 052821 Today I learned the subwoofer actually sounds better in 180° mode, in this room with this setup. This is not even bullshit. I can actually hear the difference.