writing meerkats action research leading me to a new chapter in my career it’s time for a change (again) a circling back, a spiraling in (or out) a redefinition of the same underlying, lifelong impulse what’s in my way? what do i think i lack? energy? attention? focus? motivation? time? confidence? sense of purpose? money? testosterone? vulnerability? what helps? necessity—the school context can be an advantage not an albatross. make use of it. don’t abdicate your autonomy and authority. check it out: the happy accidents happen often enough for critical mass when you are WORKING ON IT, whatever IT is. You need to find a way to be WORKING ON IT a LOT, not merely while getting the paycheck but as part of getting it and increasing its potential. You’ve seen a few moments like that lately, like when you wrote Monte’s dad that buoyant email while sitting in the bathroom. You need to open the airways, clear out the rooms, and get in a state where that can keep happening. That’s your new crow. Get on it. It’s either that or give up, and while you’ve often flirted with that line, you’ve never QUITE, COMPLETELY, IRREVOCABly crossed it, never quite taken your finger off the piece—and I have no reason to believe you will this time either. Right? “And while I don’t want to glorify failure, moving from an idea that doesn’t work for you to one that does is a beautiful thing. It’s a scary move, but maybe it’s the right move.” • get your tdp’s done (no excuses); likewise eval shit, etc • additional certifications? • start your own side project(s): video? training? writing? community? • don’t forget the old artistic and spiritual shit while you’re busy freaking the fuck out What about AVID? They sent an email about digital stuff: “AVID Center will transfer your Summer Institute registrations to  the AVID DigitalXP (AVID DigitalXP for short), our completely online professional learning experience” and “AVID Open Access is a free collection of the best, curated online learning experiences for teachers and students in all grade levels and subject areas.” Why weren’t you a part of making that? - Adapt. Modify your unique value proposition as a [whatever] so that you become more valuable to your employer. - Improve. Improve in-demand knowledge and skills in an effort to differentiate yourself from others. - Innovate. If you are so inclined, use your skills as a [whatever] to help the world through this time. - Don’t Panic. Life is full of setbacks, but where there is life, there is hope. restrictions feed creativity so don’t buy your way out of a crisis 1. Every day is Groundhog Day. 2. Build a bliss station. 3. Forget the noun, do the verb. 4. Make gifts. 5. The ordinary + extra attention = the extraordinary 6. Slay the art monsters. 7. You’re allowed to change your mind. 8. When in doubt, tidy up. 9. Demons hate fresh air. 10. Plant your garden. —— What do people need? Are you really pointless without grades? Does really nobody give a shit at all and if so what does that mean about what you tell yourself and can anything be done to change it? Do you do anything that would be valuable without coercion??? clearly worried about my job once we’re not special anymore. that f2f tutor running tutorials now, and amanda’s lame footnote about ours still being available... so what do i do to stay valuable and essential—without just flying off into desperation or bullshit? or is bullshit required? is authenticity a luxury, or is bullshit the luxury that’s getting purged right now? which was/am i?? KEEP IN MIND WHAT YOUR TRUE PURPOSE IS & WHAT YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT & HOW YOU THINK YOU CAN REALLY BE OF SERVICE; Now that everyone else is seeing that online education is a thing and exists and can be done, is that going to help eAchieve (and me) or is it going to threaten us? How do I participate in making us still be better and special? How do I help with not just sitting back and watching while everyone else steals our ideas and actually does a better job with them because they’re starting fresh without all the cruft and Schulteis’s fucking 1970’s analogies and mouse-moving game?? “Ironically, the consumer-focused services have been much more prepared for the future than the enterprises, which have been slower in embracing the significant shift to cloud, data, and automation” (from here). We don’t want to be a stodgy old enterprise, but I feel like some of our people still think that’s what we are and probably should be because they’ve equated that with job security in the past. This is why I actually do want to be on the #SAIL team again, and I’m glad Jason roped all us “teacher leaders” into it—maybe now I can start redefining in a real way what that title even means.