I’ve lived here long enough that i’ve accumulated some habits and a mindset of actually identifying with the place as if I actually live here; maybe that’s my mistake. Raising the rent, whatever, that’s stressing me out a lot because my budget doesn’t have much margin for error, but it’s a separate issue. (Mentioning how much water we use multiple times in one conversation, then sorta aggressively offering to show me the bill as if I had even argued with that, ok, whatever, I guess. Ya got me. Me and four girls take a lot of showers and wash a lot of clothes.) The thing with the flowers seems a lot more personal. Shirley was always fine with if the girls want to plant something in there, then let them Like, don’t you have enough flower beds at home that you can micromanage? You don’t live here. we do. i get it, you want it to look nice because it’s your rental property. but you’ve already rented out every unit, and do you think anyone at all that lives or is going to live here would change their mind because those flowers were purple whatever instead of yellow coneflowers? And also i get it, i should have asked, but again, we never had to do that before, and it truly never even entered my mind that the rearrangement of a couple of plants would be something that would merit such an abrasive response, such great effrontery. It just makes me feel like a peasant. We already have so little compared to so many people in this town with their big houses and conspicuous incomes. Any time you remove even a seemingly trivial piece of autonomy and personal choice, it can have a bigger impact than you might think. Consider thinking like a teacher: What’s wrong with letting the girls design their own thing instead of asking them to maintain your thing? Do you really need that particular thing? Can you imagine how much little things like that might mean? Obvs it’s up to you how you want to “run” the place, and it’s up to me if I want to stay here. Of course that’s not a trivial problem for me; my options feel a bit constrained. You can take or leave my input obvs but I have been here a long time and have poured a great deal of not just 143,150 of rent money into this place. I would just suggest that you seek a balance between running it and letting it run itself. Just cuz someone’s a tenant doesn’t mean they’re a generic unit. If it’s in your power to allow them to have a little bit more of an authentic life, isn’t that--wouldn’t you-- it’s about more than flowers. it’s about the secure feeling that comes from having small choices in your everyday life who knows, they might not be bothered half as much as i am, but i can almost guarantee they’re not thinking about it as much as i am, but not expecting any particular response, just... - 1 part to show i’m not just an unthinking rude weirdo - 1 part to give some insight into the lives of people in a different situation than yours (?) - 3 parts just to get it off my chest, stop ruminating