## shit that's in my mind 041918 # card March 18. Stop being so poor Get Megan and Millie out of their fucking rooms. They're going to be pale slow sick dumb and have bad posture and be depressed I fucking hate this phone and all phones. Stop enabling all the stupid shit How to spend a PROFOUNDLY smaller proportion of my income, habitually, sustainably.... The theme of the day is *ducks.* Ducks that crossed the road in front of me in downtown Oconomowoc; ducks that I, snapping and crashing around the blue\* trail's corner, startled into splashy liftoff. Two pairs of ducks. Doing what they do. How to "reconnect" with the "real" "physical" world. How to stop eating everything but what I'm really hungry for. How to stop being so bone-crushingly lonely. \*actually the blue trail's unmarked offshoot How to see the spaces between the trees. How not to ham up intelligence and creativity and "I'm capable of storytelling beyond crass allegory." How to do more cool stuff with my classes--i mean, why the fuck not!? I could do practically ANYTHING! SO WHY AM I STILL JUST SITTING AT A FUCKING DESK!!?!?? OMFG!???!?! and I complain about the KIDS!??!?!!! The ducks are slowly drifting back over closer. Warbling, trilling, gurgling, fussing. (Then they flew away) (no pictures of ducks today neither) How to resuscitate teh-dsa... You (remember) have to look for it (like a card a day for instance, which never turns out to be exactly) and let go and let it be found (or not found) ANYWHERE. let it come to class with you, if that's what it wants