121218 there we go, that’s how we do it my hands have been hurting from typing. i guess that means i’m an old whale. finally. after all this time. reading about those guys on lowendmac.com (haha remember those days) saying “I have to have this *exact* type of keyboard because otherwise my hands hurt...” and I was like whatever dude, fuckin pussy, but yeah. OK, whatever. I just need to retrain my hands to lie flat and incorporate all my fingers including my pinkies. Because much of the problem is weird web-stretching when i’m making a middle finger stretch way over to the side of the board. TWO THINGS I NEED TO DO IN ORDER TO FEEL SUCCESSFUL: 1. get up early 2. have all the assignments and things in the class fully ready to go *before the semester starts!* No playing fill-in-as-we-go. That’s immensely stressful, makes you look incompetent, and prevents you from having the time to do all the normal stuff you have to do each week, so you just get farther and farther behind, and when you get behind you feel disconnected, and when you feel disconnected you get depressed, and then the self-loathing sets in, and in order to combat the creeping looming despair, the self-loathing goes about self-destructing and then we’ll find ourselves back in a flickering fluorescent room with cat litter in the cuffs of our pants, staring at a generic windows pc and listening to the electric grinding of the clock on the wall, our biggest consolation being a custard milkshake at culver’s on the way home from defeat. Yeah dude I am *not* going back there. I will pretend to be one of those people who networks and has ambitions before I go back there. That one lady from our impromptu online-AVID symposium seemed pretty keen on the idea of getting AVID to pay us somehow for helping them set up official online curricula. Obviously I’m not the only one who ever thought of that. OK, I can share. If I even want to do it. Drawbacks include: you probably have to adhere as closely as possible to all their little prep steps and gewgaws and scaffolding and terminology. But some of that is really good. I just don’t know if I could do it to their specifications. I mean I probably could. I just don’t know if I would want to. Could I deal with however much of it would necessarily feel fake? For enough dough I bet I could. Jason has some kind of contact in AVID. I wonder if anything will come of this. I wonder if anything will come of it if it’s left strictly up to Jason. If that’s the case, then I bet that lady and her people will jump on it faster. If I want to do it, I should ask him about it. At the very least. There, I said “if” and wrote that down so I can forget about it now and go back to my regularly scheduled life of if it ain’t broke don’t bother preparing for a day when it might be broke. Ya bitch. Ya bitch. I can’t stop and think because if I stop and think I’ll probably just stop. I got to finish the 9+10 assignment, oversee the tutorial (though Bre’s a pro by now; I can barely even be there and it’ll still go fine. Probably. Though who knows what they’re actually doing in there!) THen I have to grade. Period the end. Tomorrow morning starts with getting RC all up to date. Then grading. Then the RC sesh. And so on and on from there. I haven’t done any grading since the night before the convention. That’s *an entire week FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME IT NEVER FUCKING ENDS THIS IS WORSE THAN THE FUCKING POST OFFICE FUCK* Oh well. What are you gonna do? 1. roll over and give up (no) 2. find a different job (not right now) 3. just fucking get it done (ok fine) Ya bitch. Gotta make a new notes system. It doesn’t involve buying a new computer. It probably doesn’t involve buying new software, unless it comes to a point where I’m like, oh yeah, this new software will let me do something I can’t do now. It’ll start with a sandbox folder within the AVID folder. It’ll be called NEW NOTES SANDBOX and it will have a top level where I will put things like “two things you need to do in order to be successful” or maybe a shorter version of that, to accomodate small window sizes, small sidebar sizes, tight icon spacing; cuz we don’t yet know how these are going to be viewed, but the more transferable and portable they are, the better. Everything has to be universally searchable (meaning spotlight, alfred, whatever), universally taggable (meaning the tags transfer and are not limited to functionality within a particular application), and both logically and spatially viewable (meaning i can look at them as a heirarchical list but also I can look at them spread out on the screen and rearrange them). That last one I’m maybe a little less married to, but it would definitely be a plus. So far the best candidate for that seems to be Classic Mac OS Finder. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaahahaahahahaha aowoooooooo hooooooooooooie! Jesus Christ. I’m scared. I’m scared of being and appearing incompetent. I don’t really think I’m incompetent. I just think that being a dork makes it hard sometimes not to appear incompetent. I got to make sure to fake it enough in the areas where I’m clueless to be able to really show up and dig in and revel in the areas where I’m a natural. Is that so much to ask?