Tuesday 21:24:55 I can’t write anymore because I can’t concentrate anymore. I can’t concentrate anymore (largely) because of the Internet (& porn, essentially, in so many different guises). Also it’s computers and devices and shit. Remember, money is a form of energy (currency); if you’re spending your energy on a new computer, you’re not spending it on something else. There’s a fly flying around in here (thanks to Tera leaving the door open) like he owns the place. I kind of feel like that should make me mad. This old keyboard is a pretty nice keyboard to type on. That new computer, no matter what form factor or how new, will not make you happy. I can’t believe I’m having to tell you this again. (Who are you again?) It will give you a false sense of power for a little while, and then later it will give you a false sense of decrepitude and shame. Either way, it has absolutely nothing to do with sleeper cars and pine trees and a little girl taking pictures of awesome graffiti through the smoky train window in the middle of the lit-up night, racing, racing, racing towards the most poignant youth capricious memory could ever possibly begin to imagine. Thursday 18:00:39 In this place, at this time, to experience hunger is a radical act. Saturday 01:54:56 In middle of night some metaphors seem obvious. You can’t get too attached to a piece of hardware. Saturday 18:04:16 The big thing I’m worried about with Megan now is that she lies. Her mom did that too. SHe lies to make a good story. She just told Alex that when we were in South Dakota she went out on the deck at night and saw a mountain lion two feet away from her, and she stared at it for a minute and then ran away. I am effectively 100% certain that didn’t happen. Did she accidentally manufacture a memory? Or is she just making shit up to have the right story–like her mom did. Does. Maybe this isn’t the thing I should be worried about. But I am. I mean I get it, everyone exaggerates and everyone wants to be the teller of a great story. But is this some kind of fucked up borderline thing? Or a modern twist on [Capgras syndrome](http://nautil.us/issue/42/fakes/to-understand-facebook-study-capgras-syndrome)? I mean, not everyone in the house with people in it is a saint; i mean no one is; not even Cael or Esriel, right? So I’m going to worry, but I’m not going to freak. (That’s how I’ve changed. How bout you?) Saturday 20:06:14 The Computer Used to be a Blurry Aqueduct Between Your Mind And Dreams But now the Resolution is so High The Computer is Become The Thing Itself I’m Not Gonna Say That’s a Bad thing Except it probably is For Anyone Who Still is in Love With Stories. Use Obsolete Technology. Push your Courage to Interact With Other Real Animals Including human beings. That’s my Vice So You’re Drunk so You’re Fat so What. Get a drunk fat Computer and play Games With it. Throw it at The Wall. Watch The Yellowed plaster Crumble. Play The Piano. Talk to a Baboon. I Don’t Fucking Know. Feel The Power Feel The Absinthe Give it up Shouted out Sleep it Off Wake up Scramble Eggs Talk to me Give me a Kiss try Again Tomorrow. There’s a Storm Blowing in And I Miss You.